Try To Be Awesome

You can do something, or you can try to be awesome at it.

That choice changes the experience. You challenge yourself. You put yourself in situations where you might lose. You find out what happens when you keep going anyway.

I'm not asking you to prove that you're worthy. You already are. I'm asking you to give yourself the chance to experience the fullest version of you.

In Episode 380, I shared why trying to be awesome is worth the effort, even before you get the result you want.

The attempt is part of the awesomeness

I watched my son Christian qualify for his first professional golf tournament. He shot a 66 in qualifying, made the cut in the tournament, and got to play with professionals.

Watching that was magical. But I had also watched the disappointing rounds, frustration, and days when he wondered whether any of it was worth doing.

He kept playing. He kept practicing. He kept giving himself another opportunity.

His successful tournament didn't mean he was done failing. Golf would continue to offer failure. What I admired was who he had become through pursuing the goal.

To me, he was awesome before the tournament because he was willing to keep trying.

We understand this in sports. A football player doesn't refuse to join a team because the team might lose a game. Losing is part of what they've signed up for.

What if you brought that willingness to your own dream?

Growth happens when you participate

Trying to be awesome continually asks you to grow and evolve. You try different things, interact with the world, and see what you need to learn.

Each failure gives you an opportunity to move forward in your growth. Failing ahead of time by never trying leaves you in the same place.

You may want to be an amazing parent, writer, athlete, business owner, or life coach. Choose the version of awesomeness that resonates with you.

Not everyone wins every time. There isn't a guarantee of the result. But there is so much available in the attempt.

If you haven't achieved your dream yet, be careful about treating that as the end of the story. What are you doing now? What have you tried? What instructions have you followed? What can you learn from someone who is succeeding?

Keep asking questions that bring you back into the work.

You learn to manage emotion

A big goal will stir up self-doubt, fear, frustration, confusion, and self-pity. It can feel as though you lifted the couch and all the dust came up.

Those emotions are now available for you to work with.

Thoughts create feelings, which drive actions and results. As you go after your goal, you get to see the thinking that fuels your actions—and the thinking that has you stop.

Learning to manage the emotion makes you stronger. It also makes a bigger identity available because you're less afraid of what expanding might feel like.

People sometimes give up because they don't want the feeling of failing again. But by giving up, they have already created the failure they were afraid of.

If the dream is still alive in you, don't abandon it simply because you haven't achieved it.

If your dream changes, that's different. You can acknowledge that your vision has changed without making your previous attempts a reason to attack yourself.

Build resilience in failure

Failure asks you to dig into your purpose, your goal, and what you believe about yourself. Can you pick yourself up and move forward?

A disappointing golf score can mean you made mistakes and need to get back to work. It doesn't have to mean you're not a good golfer.

The same applies to your own attempts. A result can give you information without becoming a negative definition of you.

Blaming the coach, the course, the clients, or everyone around you gives your power away. When you own your result, you can learn from it.

That includes the results you like and the ones you don't.

Being able to accommodate failure lets you walk into a situation with an open heart. You don't need a guarantee before you're willing to be all in.

Give your life variety and interest

Trying something challenging lets you see yourself in a new situation. How do you respond? What can you handle? What haven't you experienced before?

My son didn't know what it would be like to play with professionals. He played well during the first two days and not as well during the last two. Because he showed up, he got to experience himself handling both.

There is a very different energy in going after something and bringing people along than in gathering with people to complain about why none of you can succeed.

Complaining may feel comfortable. It doesn't give you the growth, emotional skill, or resilience that participating does.

Use your energy to discover what you're made of. Give yourself something to try.

You might surprise yourself

You might get to experience being the person you imagined.

You might create the business, help the nonprofit, raise the children, write the work, or make the beautiful dinner. You might fail several times and then see a result you didn't know you could create.

Are you giving yourself that chance?

You will also find things you weren't specifically pursuing. I call these strategic byproducts.

In trying to be an awesome life coach, I met extraordinary people, had intimate conversations about their lives, traveled, learned from teachers, and connected with entrepreneurs.

The attempts affected my students, employees, friends, and the industry. They expanded what I experienced in the world.

You can't know all the people, places, and opportunities your own attempt may introduce.

Challenge yourself without attacking yourself

This isn't an invitation to impress your friends or earn approval. You don't need another accomplishment to become worthy.

Pursue the goal so you can experience what it's like to put yourself on the line of your own life.

When you miss the mark, don't beat yourself up. Don't use the result to make yourself less capable or less valuable.

Take a note. Why did that happen? What can you do differently next time? Then proceed.

Give yourself a year to be awesome at something. Be willing to experience the rejection, disappointment, learning, and possibility that come with it.

You already have so much within you. Trying gives you the opportunity to meet it.