Coach vs Hero

I am your teacher, your guide, and your coach. I am not your hero.

I am not better than you. I am not higher than you. I am not here to save you.

When someone tells me I changed their life, I know they are being kind. But I want them to recognize the person who actually did the work.

You are the one who is going to win the game. You are the one who holds up the trophy in your life.

Think of Yoda and Luke Skywalker. I am Yoda. You are Luke. I can guide you, teach you, and cheer you on. You are the hero.

A pedestal separates us

Our brains like to build people up, especially collectively. We put celebrities and teachers on pedestals and make them seem somehow more than human.

But when you put me above you, it separates us. I want us on the ground together.

You have your own answers, talent, ability, and wisdom. The ideas I teach can become something different when you apply them to your life. You may develop them or make them accessible to people in ways I couldn't.

I learned this with my own teachers. I made them wiser than me in my mind. I asked what I should do and followed their answers without questioning or testing them with myself.

That wasn't useful.

A teacher may be further along a path of understanding or knowledge. That doesn't make them more worthy or mean you should stop consulting your own wisdom.

Don't make someone else's success proof of your limitation

When I made my first million dollars as a life coach, it mattered enormously to me. People had told me life coaches didn't make money, that we were glorified friends, and that the industry wasn't going anywhere.

Then I made a million dollars helping people and teaching the Model.

Some people explained it away. They said it was my charisma, psychology degree, book, weight loss work, or certification business.

But I knew it wasn't something only I could do. I wanted my students to have the tools to create that kind of result, and hopefully more.

At a mastermind, twenty-five of us stood on stage receiving awards for making a million dollars or more. We had different education levels, personalities, niches, and approaches.

Seeing that made the distinction clear. It wasn't that one person had some special worth nobody else could have. There was something powerful about the work we were doing.

We were extraordinary ordinary human beings making contributions in our own ways.

Borrow belief without giving away your power

A friend asked whether I really believed anyone could make a million dollars. I said yes.

She asked again, pointing out that some people might not seem capable. I still didn't agree.

Someone may be different from you or show up differently than you expect. That doesn't mean they lack the capacity to create money or an extraordinary life.

I believe in that possibility for you.

Don't misunderstand me: I am not saying everyone can become a professional basketball player. I am not going to become a movie star or win a singing contest.

I am talking about becoming the ultimate version of the desire in your heart. If you want to be a life coach and make a million dollars, I believe that capacity is available to you.

People can borrow my belief while they work through self-doubt. That is part of my role as a guide. It doesn't mean I am capable of something you could never do.

Be yourself, not a copy of your coach

My job is to teach concepts you don't know yet, remind you of your capacity, and help you get up when you fall down.

It isn't to make you like me.

I have my people to help. You have yours. The world needs you showing up as you.

A friend once worried about using my intellectual property to get ahead. I explained that certification gives her access to the Model, but teaching it and using it with her clients creates something new.

It is mixed with her. She can't be me, and she doesn't need to be.

Your experience, voice, and application can help people who need to hear it from you. That is a contribution, not a reason to disappear behind your teacher.

Own the accomplishment

When someone tells me they changed their life, became who they were meant to be, or learned to believe in themselves, I get excited.

I can feel them owning what they accomplished. We celebrate together.

When they give me all the credit, I worry they may be depending on me to keep showing them the way or telling them what to do.

I am not the one. You are.

This doesn't mean you never acknowledge teachers or give credit where it is due. It means you don't hand over your own achievement in the process.

Put your head on the pillow at night and recognize yourself for showing up in your life. Be impressed with the work you did.

Offer the same respect to your clients

If you are a coach, remember this when a client needs help.

Being more experienced or accomplished does not make you better than the person in front of you. You are both at one hundred percent worthiness.

You can stand beside them and help them through something difficult. They may be amazed by what coaching offers, and you may be amazed by what they bring to the work.

But their success is theirs. Their accomplishment is theirs.

If you remember that you are your own hero, you won't encourage your clients to give that role away.

We are on the same field, in the same human experience, all completely worthy. My goal is to high-five you when you win.