Attitude and Money

If you want to make more money, check your attitude.

I have noticed a connection between negative attitudes about life, ourselves, and other people and negative attitudes about earning money.

I am not saying everyone with a low income has a bad attitude. I am saying that many people I meet who have a bad attitude don't have as much money as they want.

It is worth considering whether changing your attitude could change your experience of money.

For a long time, I spent most of my time with people who were working on their thinking. My clients wanted coaching. My friends were positive. I was surrounded by people who knew their minds affected their lives.

After my divorce, dating and meeting people outside that world showed me how different someone's approach could be.

You may not recognize your own negativity

I met someone I was excited to date. Then he sent me a text with the acronym FML. I didn't know what it meant until I looked it up.

I couldn't imagine speaking about my own life that way.

He described his life, job, and the people he was trying to sell to as terrible. When I suggested his attitude might be negative, he didn't agree. He thought he was simply describing a horrible life.

That distinction matters. When you believe your thoughts are facts, you don't see that your approach is something you can choose.

I asked whether he would walk off the field in the middle of a game because he was behind. He said yes.

To me, having a chance to win is a reason to keep playing. But he didn't see it that way.

Notice what you are looking for

How do you approach your life, and how does that approach feel?

Are you looking for evidence that things don't work, that there is no money, or that people don't respond the way you want? Are you looking for reasons your life is terrible?

You will find evidence for what you are looking for.

Another man I dated told me the world was a terrible place as if he were reporting a fact. When I disagreed, he asked whether I watched the news.

I don't need to deny that terrible things exist to see that wonderful things exist, too. I can choose where I focus.

The same is true when I think about myself, other people, or money.

This isn't pretending things are good when you don't believe they are. It is considering that they may be good and looking for evidence of that possibility.

Your thoughts create your experience

People sometimes tell me that my success makes them feel inadequate. But me living my life doesn't create their feelings. Their thoughts about my life do.

I don't want to diminish myself so someone else can feel better. I want to offer another way of understanding what is happening.

I have also learned that offering that perspective without being invited to coach isn't always helpful.

When someone complains about their life and I tell them they could have more, they may hear it as confirmation that their current life isn't good enough. That has been an education for me.

I don't automatically know that they want a different life or would choose my approach. I can offer ideas, but I can't make someone use them.

If you are reading this, though, I invite you to look at your own attitude honestly.

Ask someone who can see what you can't

When you are inside a negative pattern, it can be hard to recognize.

You may think you are just conveying the news or explaining the facts. Other people may experience a pervasive negativity you don't notice.

Ask the people around you whether they think you have a negative attitude. Ask whether they think it affects how much money you make.

It takes courage to ask. It takes even more courage to listen to the answer.

If someone says yes, consider what they are seeing instead of immediately explaining why they don't understand your circumstances.

I am not talking about the temporary times when we feel negative. I understand those. I am talking about a habitual approach in which nothing works, nothing is possible, and you can't catch a break.

Give yourself one week

For one week, practice improving your attitude toward your life, yourself, other people, and money.

Don't pretend. Find a thought you can consider.

Maybe you can't believe your wife is an amazing blessing. You might be able to believe she is a human being doing the best she can.

Maybe is useful here. Maybe you could have more money. Maybe the world isn't so bad. Maybe you aren't so bad. Maybe something about this is a little bit fantastic.

Those possibilities create a different approach from declaring that everything is terrible.

When you believe you are worthy and that opportunity and abundance exist, you move through the world feeling differently. Your thoughts affect your feelings, which affect what you do and the results you create.

Stay in the game

We have taught young people working with us that a positive mental attitude goes with being committed to their work. There will be failures. They need to be willing to rally instead of quitting in the middle of the game.

The same applies to creating more in your life.

As you release resistance and bring more positive energy to the world, abundance may not show up as money immediately. It may show up as ideas, people, or opportunities.

You can feel as if you are on a different highway when your attitude changes.

Try it for a week. See whether someone notices your different approach. A positive attitude can be contagious, too.

If you want more, tell yourself the truth about how you are showing up. Then choose the attitude you want to bring to the game.