On Being a Badass

You get to decide that you are a badass.

You don’t have to be born with a special designation. You don’t have to stop failing or become perfect. You can choose to show up as someone determined, deliberate, and willing to go after what she wants.

I like thinking about myself that way. It helps me pursue my purpose: evolving, becoming the best version of myself, and making a contribution.

In Episode 352, I talked about what that actually requires. It is more than a confident appearance. It is a practice of decisions, strength, and willingness to feel.

Set goals that require you to grow

When I think of a badass, I think of someone like Jennifer Lopez: creating, working, putting herself out there, experiencing failures, and continuing.

Who gives you that kind of inspiration? Does seeing them make you want to create more in your life?

To have results that impress you, set goals that require you to use your heart, energy, and mind. Let yourself see what you are capable of even when you may fail.

I look for evidence in my own life, too. In the episode, I described my team’s business results and the way my family handled changes in our relationships. I was proud of both.

Your evidence doesn’t have to look like mine. Find where you already show up strongly, and decide where you want to do more.

Care more about your opinion of you

Many of us were raised to monitor other people’s approval. Were we behaving? Were they happy? Were we being good?

As adults, we can start giving more weight to what we want and think.

That is challenging. We want to be included in groups, and stepping out can feel threatening. Other people may disagree or judge you.

That is part of pursuing something beyond the group’s expectations. You don’t have to make their approval the deciding factor.

There will be people who dislike directness or ambition. There will also be people inspired by it. Neither group gets to determine the life you want to create.

Celebrate yourself without being better than anyone

There is a difference between loving yourself out loud and trying to prove you are superior.

Arrogance puts other people down to create a feeling of being above them. It often comes from insecurity.

I want you to celebrate yourself without making it at anyone’s expense. We all have the capacity to pursue the best version of ourselves.

When you compare yourself as better or worse, you miss the point of your own journey. Focus on your life and potential.

You can create something that becomes an example for other people. Your success can expand their idea of what is possible rather than take something from them.

Strength requires consistent practice

Strength isn’t something you create once and then keep forever without using it.

Understanding the Model intellectually is different from consistently practicing it. That is like understanding weightlifting versus lifting weights.

You can go to the gym once, learn perfect form, and never return. Or you can keep showing up and build strength.

Thoughts create feelings, which drive actions and results. Practicing awareness and choosing your thinking gives you a way to strengthen that process.

Take care of your mind and body. Look at what interferes with your ability to stay strong, aware, and prepared.

Be thoughtful about how you show up, too. Clothing and preparation can represent the person you are choosing to be. The point is consciously showing up for your life, not copying somebody else’s uniform.

Your decisions create power even when you fail

A big decision includes many smaller ones.

You decide to create a program, earn an amount of money, stop drinking, or solve a problem. Then you decide what to do today, what to do next, and what to do when an attempt fails.

The consistency behind those decisions builds strength.

You can fail to get the result and still gain power from making and acting on a decision. If you quit ahead of time and never act, you miss that benefit.

Think about learning to walk. You stand, try, fall, and get up. Each attempt builds what you need for the next one.

Being a badass doesn’t mean avoiding failure. It means being willing to put yourself out there and continue.

Discipline means honoring a choice when you don’t feel like it

People who impress me are often consistent in their practices, work ethic, and use of time.

Athletes plan their training. They don’t always want to do it. They still show up prepared and make the decision again.

You can use that same understanding of discipline. It is honoring choices you made, knowing that motivation won’t always be there.

You don’t need to beat yourself up for not feeling excited. You can expect not to feel like it sometimes and act in service of your future self anyway.

Your purpose and the result you want can be the reason you show up.

Own the parts that aren’t perfect

I have shortcomings and things I’m not good at. I don’t need to pretend they aren’t there.

Where I need a skill, I can strengthen it. Where I don’t, I can accept it or delegate. Hiding it in shame doesn’t make me stronger.

You can agree with a judgment that happens to be true without using it to attack yourself. Accepting the whole of you can be empowering.

Life is 50/50. You can own your results and your imperfections while continuing to create.

Ask where you are already showing up with determination. Where do you want to set a bigger goal, make a decision, practice consistently, and become willing to feel all the feelings?

Claim the person you want to be. Then build the strength to be her through the way you show up.