Fierce Love

It is easy to tell someone you love them when being associated with them feels good.

They have helped you. You admire their work. They have believed in you. You are happy to be connected to them.

But what happens when that connection feels risky? When standing beside them might expose you to criticism?

In Episode 345, I shared an experience with my friend and colleague Jody Moore that changed how I wanted to love. It wasn’t a grand event. It was a conversation over lunch about something she had already done.

Support when it was uncomfortable

Earlier that year, I had experienced public criticism online that I believed included lies and misrepresentations about me and my work. It was painful, especially when it involved someone I had considered a good friend.

Many people reached out privately to say they loved and supported me. I appreciated those messages deeply.

A smaller number defended the work publicly. That takes a different kind of courage. When someone is being attacked, stepping beside them can draw attention toward you, too.

Jody wrote a public post defending my work and reputation. Her own business and public brand supported her family. She was putting something important to her on the line.

At the time, it meant a great deal to me. When she visited Austin, I wanted to tell her in person how much I appreciated it.

The sentence I kept thinking about

At lunch, I thanked her. Then she told me that colleagues and students had suggested distancing themselves from me and The Life Coach School during that period.

Her response to them had been: “If Brooke Castillo’s going down, I’m going down with her.”

She said it casually, as something she simply believed. I couldn’t stop thinking about it afterward.

I had been loved well by family, children, friends, students, and listeners. This was an unexpectedly intense experience of being loved.

Jody didn’t know what would happen to the business. She wasn’t making her decision from knowledge that the situation would turn out well for us.

She was willing to stand with me when she believed what was being said wasn’t true, even though the association could affect her.

The love I wanted to learn

I began asking myself whom I loved that much. Whose reputation would I be willing to stand beside? For whom would I risk something rather than offer support only when it was convenient?

I didn’t feel I was loving at the level she had demonstrated. I wanted to become more like that.

We all have fear. We can be afraid of ridicule, hurt, shame, or what people will think of us.

The question is whether we are willing to feel that fear and still love courageously.

I know the tendency to hide and protect ourselves. We may be willing to love privately while hoping nobody directs attention toward us.

Jody showed me a different possibility. She wasn’t just expressing love. She had acted from it.

What your actions say about your love

Think about the people you love. Are you willing to stand up for them when you believe in them and believe something being said is untrue?

Or do you align with people only while that connection serves you?

I wasn’t asking those questions from a place of having mastered the answer. I was asking because I had seen an example that made me want to grow.

Our thoughts create feelings, which drive actions and results. Love becomes something we experience and something that can fuel how we show up. In this situation, I saw an action that expressed a quality of love I wanted to practice.

When I see someone demonstrating a higher-quality version of what I want to be, I want to learn from them. I want to let the example change me.

You may not know how much your love matters

Jody had told me she loved me many times. She had given gifts and expressed friendship. I valued all of it.

This conversation affected me differently. Knowing what she had been willing to say and do made me think harder about the person I wanted to be.

You never know how deeply your love might affect someone. Something that seems natural to you may become an example they carry with them.

I wanted to share this because I wanted to love more fiercely, more courageously, and with more willingness to stand beside the people I believe in.

That experience did more than make me feel supported. It showed me a way to become a better friend and human being.