You are listening to The Life Coach School Podcast with Brooke Castillo, episode number 55.
Welcome to The Life Coach School Podcast, where it's all about real clients, real problems, and real coaching. And now, your host, Master Coach Instructor, Brooke Castillo.
What's up, everyone? Are you coming in June? I just talked to five people in a row who are coming in June and it gets me excited.
I love talking to smart people who are excited and motivated about learning the stuff more. It's so fun. And it's perfect because some of the examples that we talked about today are going to go right into the topic, which is drama.
And more specifically, I'm going to call it mind drama. So when we think about drama, when we think about drama queens, when you think about people that are into drama, it's almost like that toxic noise that happens. It's like people are like instigating stories and talking behind each other's backs and making up things to try and create drama where it's unnecessary.
And it's so easy for some of us to sit back and say, oh, those teenage girls, they're so full of drama, right? As if we're not, as if we don't have our own mind drama. It's a different flavor, but it's the same drama, meaning that it's thinking and thoughts and instigating emotion that's completely unnecessary and not useful.
So for example, if I come to you and say, oh my God, did you hear that she did this and she likes this boy and this boy doesn't like her? And then did you hear that this happened and then this happened and it was so awful? And oh my God, and she, you know, like that's obviously drama, right?
But then if I say, oh my gosh, my boss at work is such a nightmare. He doesn't acknowledge me enough. He doesn't care about my work.
It's the same. You may have a different voice. It may sound like this, but it's the same kind of drama.
Now, one of the examples that I'm going to use today is the example of money, because I think it's the most easily instigated drama trigger. I just totally made that up. I don't even know what that means.
It's the... It instigates us, right, to have drama. I don't know what it is about money, but I'm right in the middle of teaching master coach training right now.
I shouldn't say in the middle. We just started. And one of the things that we're doing is talking about our financial goals.
Whenever you're setting an outcome, it's really important to make it measurable, right? Because when it's measurable, then you can do math. And my business coach is always telling me that everything's just math.
And I laugh because I always want to say to him, but what about the drama? Like, yeah, you can do math, but there's all the drama and the disbelief and the doubt and all of that. Don't we want to talk about that?
And the great thing about him is he never wants to talk about drama. He just wants to do math. And for me, for whatever reason, it's all about the drama.
And I notice this with my students, too. So they'll say, you know, I want to make $150,000 a year as a life coach. And I'll say, okay, well, if it was $120,000 a year, that would be $10,000 a month.
So what are you charging? How many clients would you have to see? And they say, oh, well, if I see 10 clients, that would be $1,000 per client per month.
Okay, so done. Let's just get you 10 clients. That's the math of it, right?
But then there's the, well, I don't know how to get 10 clients, and I don't know if they'll want to hire me, and I don't know if I'm good enough, and I don't know if I can handle it, and I don't know. You know, all the stuff that goes on in our minds. I don't know, I don't know, I don't know is usually the title of the story.
It's I don't know. And we talked about this a couple of episodes ago about indulging in those emotions of confusion. But if you just do the math and you recognize that the rest is drama, and you skip the drama and you just do the math, then that's how you can actually create the results in your life.
The mind drama is what prevents us from accessing our true abundance in our lives. You know, I was just talking about somebody said to me, Well, Brooke, you're just not like normal people. You have a very abundant mindset.
You're always thinking in an abundant way. And here's what I think is true. I think, you know, and I just read a quote that's kind of similar to this.
And basically what it says is we don't create abundance. Like think about that for a minute. We don't create it.
Abundance is our natural state. What we create are limitations. That's what we create.
So the exact quote is we don't create abundance. Abundance is always present. We create limitation.
And that's from Arnold Patent and his book Money. So think about that for just a minute. If we don't have any limiting thinking in our minds, then our natural state is abundance.
If we aren't limiting ourselves, if we aren't thinking thoughts of limitation, then the world really is ours. Think about the model. We are creating our results with our thoughts.
If that is really true, and it is, then what will we allow ourselves to believe? What is our capacity for having? Because abundance is available.
We limit ourselves to the abundance of the world. That's it. If we believe we can have whatever we want, we will have whatever we want.
Now, I know that not all of you believe me, and those of you that don't believe me probably don't have much of what you want. But what if you did believe that? Just like go there with me for a second.
What if you did believe that you could have whatever you want? So for those of you who really want to have abundance in your life, and you want to do the math of abundance, and you want to be able to see that and then separate that out from the drama, then all you really have to do is reduce the drama, eliminate the drama, and the math does itself. The thing that's beautiful about math is it just equals itself.
So the equation for math is 1 plus 1 equals 2. Now you can argue with it, you can debate it, you can scribble it out, you can cross it out, you can erase it, you can never think about it again. But it's there and it's available to you if you want it.
The truth of it is available. If you believe in it, it will be true for you. And if you don't believe in it, it won't be true for you.
So think about this. Let's, for example, say that you want to make a million dollars a year, okay? And you want that to be your gross income.
So if you take a million dollars, which for a lot of people, that's such a huge amount of money that they can't even wrap their mind around it. But if you take a million dollars and you divide it by 12, that's $83,333 a month. So if you look at that per month, and then you figure out, okay, so in order for me to make that per month, I need to make $20,000 a week.
Okay. Now, how can I make $20,000 a week? And if I can figure that out, then I can make a million dollars a year.
Okay. So if I have 20 clients and I charge them $1,000 a week, right, then I'm going to make $20,000 a week, and I will make a million dollars that year. That's it.
Now, all the doubt is going to come up, oh my gosh, how are you going to charge your client $1,000 a week? That's going to be so hard. No one's going to ever pay that.
That's not going to work. All the drama, right? But if you just let the math be the math, and you believe in the math, and you believe in the possibility of that, and you allow yourself to access the wisdom of how that can be done, it will be done.
It genuinely will be done. The rest of it is just drama. There are people, there are a lot of people who make a million dollars a year, right?
They make a million dollars. They figured out how to gross a million dollars a year. How do they do that?
first of all, they figure out the math, and then they clean up the drama, and the math happens. Okay, now, I know for some of you, even just hearing this podcast is making you have drama in your mind. You're having drama with me.
You want to go talk to people about me behind my back probably, right? Because you're like, oh, right, make it so simple. So for some of you, a million dollars, maybe you can't even wrap your mind around it.
So let's do the hundred thousand dollars example. Okay, let's say you want to make a hundred thousand dollars a year. Actually, let's make the math easy.
So we'll use the example that I used before. Let's talk about a hundred and twenty thousand dollars a year. So that's going to be ten thousand dollars a month.
Now, if you have drama about making ten thousand dollars a month, you're going to lose your mind here and you're going to have all sorts of I can't, I don't know, I can't, I don't know, and some whining going on, right? You may even like, tell your friends how it's impossible and create a little gossip drama along that. But if you just let math be math and you think it is possible for me to make a hundred thousand dollars a year, a hundred and twenty thousand dollars a year, and it is possible for me to make ten thousand dollars a month, then all I have to do is figure out the math and do the math.
And I have to keep believing in the possibility of that. Now, for some of you, a hundred and twenty thousand dollars a year is not a lot of money. So there's no drama around that number for you.
You just do it. For those of you that there is a lot of drama around that number, you're not doing it, right? So here's what I want you guys to do.
I want you to think about the amount of money that doesn't have drama for you. Okay? That's just math with smaller numbers.
I want you to think about what your mind does when you talk about the amount of money that doesn't bring up drama for you. And then I want you to incrementally increase that dollar amount until you start having drama. And all I want you to notice, you're going to keep the math and the drama separate.
All I want you to do is notice how the drama changes. There's no drama and then all of a sudden there's drama. Now you want to give credit for that drama to those numbers.
But I want you to really think about it. It's kind of like giving credit for the gossip to the wall.
Numbers just are numbers. All they do is add themselves up. They're innocent.
The numbers are not causing the drama. Your head and your thoughts about what's possible is causing the drama. So for some of you, the drama starts at 120,000.
For some of you, it starts at 150,000. For some of you, it starts at 500,000. For some of you, it starts at a million.
And for some of you, it starts at 10 million. Okay, and you can do it per year or per whatever. But when you can manage the drama, when you can understand where the drama starts, maybe you can see that it has nothing to do with blaming the numbers for the drama, but something happens in your brain.
And I watch it happen with my students, and it's so fascinating how their numbers are all different. Based on their belief system. So some people think making $150,000 is easy, and they make it easily.
And they're in the exact same profession as another one of my students who thinks making $150,000 is hard. And I was just talking to someone about it today who said, well, I made money as an accountant making this much money, but I can't make the same amount as a personal trainer, right? So it's not that they don't believe they're capable of making that amount of money, but now they've made the drama about the specific profession that they're in.
Now, what is drama? It's just a collection of thoughts that create a response, right? An emotional response.
All of our thoughts create an emotional response, emotional vibration. So if I say to you $150,000 a year and you have an emotional negative response to that, it's because of your mind drama. It's because you have thoughts about what that means.
And you're probably not going to make it. For those of you who I say $150,000 and you don't have any mind drama, you probably already make $150,000 a year, probably pretty easily. What's the difference?
The only difference is how much you indulge and believe in your mind drama. So you need to understand what exactly that is. Here's the best way to deal with drama.
When people try to bring drama to me, they'll come and they'll go, Oh my gosh, everybody's really upset about this thing you did. I'll say, first of all, I need to know names. Who exactly is upset?
What are their names? What exactly did they say? And what exactly did I do?
I just do math with them, right? I separate out the facts from the drama. This is exactly what's going on.
This person's interpretation, oh my god, everything's falling apart, everyone's upset, it's just drama. I need to know the math. The same is true with our drama about money, our drama about numbers.
There's no reason why $150,000 should freak someone out and not the other person. Makes no sense. It's the exact same number.
If it was the numbers fault, both people would have the same reaction. They would have the same drama about it, but they don't, they have different drama. So is the drama because of the amount of money, or is the drama because of the person's brain and what they've allowed themselves to believe?
So I've told you guys before about my coach, my business coach, who charged me $36,000 for a coaching program. And I watched myself have drama about it, about that number and paying that number for coaching. And one of the things that I've thought a lot about is, first of all, I changed the drama to, if you invest in yourself and you look at it as an investment, then the return on that investment is what matters, the interest you're going to make.
So if I'm taking $36,000 and I'm investing it in a company, I'm going to expect, you know, that's an asset that I now have invested, I'm going to expect a percentage of a return. Okay? And so if I think about the $36,000 as I'm investing in myself in coaching, I'm going to expect a return.
Well, what I expected from myself is, and notice I didn't say I expected it from my coach. What I expected from myself is that if I invested $36,000 in me, that I would give myself 100% return on that investment. And I did.
And the way that I did it is I just did exactly what my coach told me to do. He said one of the selling points he made was, if you invest in this program, it is my hope that you'll make that money back in the first month we work together. And so I said to him, I want to make the money back in the first month we work together.
And I did what exactly what he told me to do, which of course, by the way, was math, which I had a lot of drama about. But my husband reminded me, wait a minute, you're just supposed to do what he says, and you're supposed to skip all that drama stuff, right? So I did.
I skipped to the drama stuff, and I just did exactly what he told me to do. I did the math, and I made the investment back. Now, the other thing that that really did for me, not only did it show me that I'm worthy of investing in myself, I'm better than any stock company I've ever invested in.
I've never had a stock company that I've been able to get 100% return on my investment, which I did. So when you think about that, you guys, you think about, if I invest 36,000, first I have to make the 36,000 back, and then I need to make another 36,000, right? So it's not just making the money back, but then it's increasing and doubling that investment.
And so I didn't think about it as investing in the program. I thought about it as investing myself, and I was responsible for my return on my own investment. And I'm a pretty good bet, right?
That's what I figured out about myself. When I invest in myself, I deliver. So I might invest in myself a lot more, actually.
And I'm really seriously thinking about where else can I invest in myself. Now, the other thing that it did for me is it really helped me think about the kind of clients that I want to attract into my life, the kind of people that I want to work with. I want to invest with people who want to invest in themselves and want to give themselves a good return on their investment.
They're not looking for me to give them a good return on their investment because that's impossible. They're investing in themselves, they're not investing in me, right? They're not giving me their money so I can create something for them.
They're giving me their money as an investment in themselves. And then they're going to bring the time and energy to produce what it is they want in their life. And that's a beautiful business for me to be in because the potential is huge.
I mean, I've had people invest $6,000 with me that have made $100,000 in a year. Now, can I take credit for that? No, they invested in themselves.
They did the work and that return on investment was obviously exponential. So what it did is it kind of had me put my money where my mouth is, right? If I'm going to invest in a coach and I'm going to work really hard, that's going to set me up to attract like attracts alike.
I'm going to attract that into my life. So I've been attracting people that really want to make an investment, not just in money and expect me to do a forum, but invest money and time and energy and intellectual capital and action, massive action taking to create that result for themselves in their own lives. And I'll tell you what, when you're around a bunch of people like that, that is an amazingly good time.
So in my coach trainings, one of the things that I love being able to say to everyone is, there's no discounts. I don't offer discounts to come to my training. I don't offer scholarships.
I do give a lot of stuff away for free. So if there's people, you know, this podcast is an example of that. If there's people that don't want to spend their money on an in-person training, because I noticed that I didn't say they can't afford it, right?
And it doesn't have to be training. It can be anything you guys want to do in your life, anything you want to buy, right? You say you can't afford it, but the truth is you want to spend your money on something else, and that's totally fine.
But I don't offer any discounts. Everyone pays and invests the same amount because the level of energy from everyone who has gone all in on themselves and they're betting on themselves that they're going to rise to that occasion, and that kind of energy, you have that many people in a room all betting on themselves, that is a great, exciting, wonderful place to be. So the more abundant I've been in my own life, and what I mean by that is the more abundance I've allowed into my own life, the more abundant people that have come in to my life.
So I was talking to a student today who had just signed up for the training, and one of the things she was saying to me is that she thought that was a huge investment and everyone in her life was telling her what a huge investment it was. And one of the things that I shared with her was that story about my coach and how we kind of had a lot of drama about spending that much money with him and that, but because of the way and the intention I had behind it, how much that has come back to me in so many ways in the work that I've done. And not just financially, by the way, the abundance mentality that it's created for me.
And so I think that you have to remember that when you're in your life is, are you the kind of person? Are you being the kind of person that you want to attract into your life? Are you showing up in that way that like will attract like in your life?
Right? And so when I see my coaches or when I see my students either deciding to sign up for a training or deciding to become a coach, I really want them to see that this is math and this is drama. This is your mind drama and your mind drama.
Here it is, you guys, like really think about this. Your mind drama is optional. It's a choice.
So when you look at what you're believing, notice that that is what you picked off the menu of all the belief systems available to you in the world. Those are the ones you're picking. Now, if you want the results that those beliefs will create, then don't change the drama.
But if you want a different result, you need to take a look at it, that collection of mind drama thoughts, and you need to decide, is that what I want to believe? And I'm going to be talking a lot more about this, but here's something I want you to consider. Those thoughts that you're manufacturing in your brain, that you're recycling in your brain, that you've been thinking for so many years, have been giving you the result you have in your life.
And if you want to change the result, you're going to have to change those belief systems. You're going to have to change your drama. Now, you can come up with your own beliefs, and you can practice new thoughts.
But if you really genuinely understand the power of the mind, and you understand that without the limitations, you are abundant, then maybe you can consider that there are thoughts available to you that you can't even wrap your mind around yet. That there are beliefs of abundance that come from such a deep place within you that you can't even fathom that you could believe them. You may be thinking that $150,000 is a lot of money in your life, and there may be something deep within you that knows $5,000,000 isn't even a start for you in your life.
How do you know that I'm wrong? Notice the drama that came up for some of you when I said $5,000,000. Now, I get a lot of flack because I always talk about how much I love money, and I think money is fun, and I love it when I have money.
I love it when other people have money. I love it when I see someone in a Tesla. I am so happy for them.
But I love money with no drama. Money just is. Let me give you an example.
I was driving the other day, and I had on a pair of heels, high heels, and I had some chocolate on the front seat of my car that I was going to give to one of my friends for her birthday. It was like a little collection of truffles, and the sun was beating on it. I noticed that the sun was coming in the window and beating on it.
So I leaned over to move the chocolate. I wanted to put it on the floorboard. So when I leaned over, my foot with my high heels slipped off the brake pedal.
I didn't even feel it slip off. So I rolled into and crashed into the car in front of me. Now, we were at a stoplight, so it wasn't like I was crashing into them, but it was jarring.
Now, here's the bad news. The bad news is it was a 57 Chevy, and it had a ruby red paint job and red interior, and it was a convertible, and it was a couple. It was, I think it was a Sunday afternoon.
It was their pride and joy, obviously. They were horrified that I had hit their car. The guy next to me and the car next to me had been looking at the car and admiring the 57 convertible Chevy.
It wasn't a truck, it was a sedan looking thing. Obviously, I know nothing about cars, which of course, I'm sure they were mortified. The guy next to me was so upset about me hitting their car, he was losing his mind.
What the hell's wrong with you, lady? Oh my God, I can't believe what the hell's wrong with you? Screaming at me.
So here's what happened with me. I had no drama about this. My foot had slipped off the brake.
I certainly hadn't hit their car intentionally. It was a mistake, and I would be happy to pay them to have their car fixed. So we polled over.
They were very shaken up, and I asked them, are you okay? And they were okay. They weren't hurt in any way.
The impact, because we had been stopped, hadn't been much. But they were much more concerned about the car, right? They didn't see if I was okay at all because they were so upset about the car.
And I just said, I'm very sorry. I'm happy to pay you for whatever the damages are. Please, here's my phone number.
Here's my insurance information. Please just contact me directly and let me know what the damages are. We looked at the back of the car and there was nothing wrong that I could see from the car.
Nothing. I mean, it had a steel bumper, which I guess is what cars had back in the day. And so there wasn't even a dent in the bumper.
But I said, call me and let me know. Still no drama for me, which was impressive, actually. But I saw myself thinking like there's no reason for me to get upset about this, because it's not going to serve any purpose.
There is no upset. So the man called me a couple of days later and he said, hey, I just want to let you know that they looked at the car. And I guess when you hit me, the bumper actually moved up a couple inches and caused damage that we couldn't see.
I'm going to take it to the body shop and have them do an estimate. He said, I just want to let you know this is a very old, expensive car. It's probably going to be expensive to fix.
And I said, OK, just let me know. So he called me back and he said, hey, I have the estimate. It's about $1,300.
Do you want me to send it to you? And I said, yes, please send it to me. So he sent it to me and we started reading it.
And I still had no drama. And I told my husband who was like, what the what? This is his drama.
$1,300. He said, God, you got to be more careful. How are you going to hit a 57 Chevy?
I said, listen, I said, I just want to pay this. I feel like they've been inconvenienced by the situation. I want to pay it so they can get their car fixed.
They're the ones that have to go to the body shop. This is a pain in the butt for them. It's $1,300.
We're going to pay them. They're going to get their car fixed, and we're going to move on with our lives. And that's it.
And we're never going to look back because getting upset about it, complaining about it, negotiating with them, any of that. What is the point? So I paid it and I moved on.
Right? And I'm kind of astounded by how brilliant that is. Like, I think about all the times when I've had so much drama in my life about much less money and still ended up paying it.
Right? And when I just come from a really abundant place, look, my foot slipped off the brake. It was absolutely my fault.
I ran into their car. And by the way, this is my second accident. Just so you know, this is my second accident in like two months.
And they're both been just minor fender benders. I didn't make it mean that there's something happening in the universe. I didn't make it mean that I need to get my act together and something's really wrong with me.
I didn't make it mean anything. I didn't even make it be a problem. It just is that.
The first one, I'm having my insurance take care of because the people are complaining that they have soft tissue injuries, which that's a whole nether podcast I might have to tell you all about. But still, here's the thing. And I had much more drama over that, which still, when I think about it right now, is completely unnecessary.
The drama is unnecessary. It doesn't serve any purpose. Now, just because you don't have drama doesn't mean that you necessarily pay.
It doesn't mean that you necessarily don't pay, right? But whatever you do, you just do it without all of the upset and worry and freaking out. I was able to say to him, I'm very sorry for the inconvenience.
I'm very sorry that you're even having to deal with this. And I'm sure it was very upsetting to you because I can tell that you love your car. And I just paid the bill, period.
And that's the end of it. And because I come from an abundant place financially, I'm not worried about the money part of it at all. And because of the way I handled it, I actually believe that that money will come back to me in spades.
So I want you to think about where you have drama, especially when it comes to money that isn't serving you. And see if you can at least delay your drama for a higher amount of money in your life. The amount of money is neutral.
You get to pick when you start having drama. And whatever number that is that you start having drama will be your salary cap. Wherever you start having drama.
So, the more you can work on raising your drama to a higher level, meaning a higher number, the more money you're going to make. I dare you to test me on this. I dare you to make more money.
Not because you need the money, not because you're greedy, not because you want it, not because you love it at the expense of other people, but just because you love the idea that you can create abundance in your life, and it's kind of a fun game to explore. Do it for that and get rid of all the issues that everyone's taught you that you should have around money and just enjoy it. You can help a lot more people in a lot bigger way if you have more money.
So if that's important to you, I dare you to raise your number and to create a higher number of when your drama starts. Let me know how it goes in the comments. I'll talk to you guys next week.
Take care.
Bye. Thank you for listening to The Life Coach School Podcast. It would be incredibly awesome if you would take a moment to write a quick review on iTunes.
For any questions, comments, or coaching issues you would like to hear on the show, please visit us at www.thelifecoachschool.com.
