You are listening to The Life Coach School Podcast with Brooke Castillo, episode number 108.
Welcome to The Life Coach School Podcast, where it's all about real clients, real problems, and real coaching. And now, your host, Master Coach Instructor, Brooke Castillo.
Hello, my beautiful friends. How are you guys today? I am going through it.
Somebody just said, it's so funny, somebody just wrote me an email and said, you might be too much for most people, but you're great for me. And just the fact that she said I might be too much for some people, like has me spinning. It's so ridiculous.
And then yesterday, I had what I would call a full on anxiety day. Have you guys had these days? If you haven't, you're very lucky.
But I was just filled with anxiety all day, and I was like looking for it. Like I went out looking for some anxiety yesterday. And I found it.
I found all sorts of evidence that people don't like me, that my life is terrible, that I can't get by, my kids are mad. Like unbelievable what I was able to conjure up in my mind for evidence that I should be anxious, and I should be panicked, and I should be freaking out. And so one of the things that I did is I came back to myself and I just said, Look, Brooke, you're going to feel anxious today.
Just carry that around like a purse with bricks in it. That's how I feel. And that's what I did.
I just walked around. I was willing to feel anxious. I went on a walk.
I actually went on two walks. I went on a walk and then I still felt anxious, and then I went on another walk because I thought that would help and that didn't. And I watched all my thoughts and I did thought downloads and I did models, and I just let myself be anxious yesterday.
And it was really powerful. But that's not what we're talking about today. I just wanted to share with you that what was interesting is I think that I have so much evidence right now that everything is going really well and really great in my life, that I'm having that, oh, that other shoe is going to drop kind of anxiety, and I'm feeling it, and I'm just really aware of it.
So I know that some of you guys are experiencing that same thing. Some of you feel the same way I do and you let me know a lot of the time. And so I just want to let you know, I'm kind of going through it right now, and I'm okay with that.
I've accepted that there are going to be days that are going to be like this, and I can focus on everything that's good and I still feel anxious. So the good news is I'm right in the process of doing right now as I'm recording this, we're selling out Stop Over Eating Masterclass. We just did the webinar.
It was amazing. We had way more people on there than we thought, and it was fantastic and we got great feedback about it. And I'm really proud of it and really happy.
And we're about to do the April training, which we just are in the process of selling that out. We're going to do that training. So actually, I think when you guys are listening to it, we'll probably be right in the middle of it.
So I'm so excited. I always get so excited to meet new people and new faces and new energy and people that are loving this work. I'd love spending time with them.
So really, really thrilled. And maybe you're one of them. Maybe you're coming.
So I can't wait to see you. All right. So today, what we're going to talk about is gratitude ahead of time.
And this is a concept that I am so digging right now, right? It's this idea that you visualize your future. You visualize what you want to have in your life, and then you visualize how you will feel.
So, for example, if you're visualizing, let's say you're a coach and you're teaching a class, and you're visualizing a class that you want to fill up, let's say, with 10 people, you want to teach a class with 10 people on the phone. And so you visualize yourself having already filled up the class and having taught the class, and you're just so thankful that it was such a great class, and you had such amazing people, and you were able to offer your work to the world, you were able to help 10 people learn something they didn't know before. Like you really get to that place of gratitude ahead of time.
I've talked a little bit on this podcast and on my other podcast, How To Be A Life Coach, I've talked about the idea of results ahead of time. It's really important to me as a businesswoman in my marketing that I offer results to my clients before they ever pay me. So that's something that I do on this podcast.
I've received numerous comments on the podcast and the reviews that, by the way, reviews, side note, we get 100,000 downloads a month, and I have 400 reviews. Yeah, I'm talking to you. If you're downloading my podcast, write me a review, please.
I love you. Okay. Anyway, giving results ahead of time to people so they can experience my work, and then they'll know for sure that they want to purchase it instead of just telling them, oh, it's great, and then they have to take the chance of paying me before they get the results.
So results ahead of time. Well, this is kind of a sister to that, right? It's gratitude ahead of time.
It's being willing to feel grateful for something that you're going to have in your life, and you believe that you're going to have in your life, and so you visualize yourself on the other side being grateful. Now, there's some things that I think are really powerful about doing this. And so I was doing this on a project that I'm creating, and I was picturing myself having already created the product and having already sold the product.
I'm going to do an advanced training for coaches, and it's not just going to be Life Coach School Coaches, it's going to be all coaches who want advanced training for me. I'm going to do a course this summer where you can come and spend two days with me and get advanced training. We're going to talk about the model and thought work and all sorts of stuff like that.
So anyway, I was visualizing that, and I was visualizing creating the class and filling the class and working with amazing people and how I would feel afterwards. And one of the things that's really important is really making sure that I do feel grateful in my visualization and if I don't, trying to figure out why. And it really helps me refine what it is exactly I want in my life because it helps me.
Like if I'm thinking about, oh, I'm going to have a certain number of people at the training and then I can't feel grateful afterwards, maybe there were too many people there. Maybe I should do it for a smaller group, right? Or maybe it was too many days or whatever.
So as I'm creating products, I practice, will I feel grateful after I've done this class? You know, when I'm, I always picture myself driving home from the course, will I be like, that was amazing, I loved it, I'm so grateful I had the opportunity. And if the answer is yes, then I go ahead and do it.
So whatever it is you want in your life, think about it right now. Think about maybe it's losing weight, maybe it's building your practice, maybe it's getting a new job, maybe it's finding someone to love, right? And picture yourself having already achieved it, already created it in your life, and then picture yourself feeling thankful and grateful for having had created it.
Now, I think that there are really important distinctions that you can make here as well. A lot of times I talk about how important it is for me to feel proud of myself. Like, I think that's the most amazing experience that I have.
Like, I feel proud that I've accomplished something. And a lot of times, I feel like I feel proud of myself when I've done something for myself, when I've created a solution or a result for myself that I really wanted. So, for example, when I was trying to lose weight, I was really wanting to figure out why I was overeating and my desire to overeat, and really figuring out that compulsion.
And I promised myself, like, when I figure that out, I would share it. Like, once I really did figure that out, I had so much pride. I felt so proud of myself for going through the work and like digging deep and doing it.
I was like, yeah, I'm a badass for doing that. That was hard, right? And that's different than also thanking myself.
Like, it's something I've been doing is just like, thank you for doing that. Thank you for, you know, being brave enough to do that. Like, it's such a beautiful offering to yourself, right?
And you guys can do that right now. Like, think about something that you owe yourself gratitude for. And are you giving yourself gratitude?
Okay? So, the way that I like to think about it in terms of, like, projects is, I have gratitude towards myself for having created something and done it and produced it. And then I have gratitude towards the people who come to my programs and who, you guys who listen to my podcast.
And I'm grateful to the universe for aligning everything for me and for having the opportunity to create that. And just being, like, kind of bathing myself in the appreciation and the gratitude of having had that experience. Now, one of the things that is important is, first of all, that you can get to gratitude.
And if you can't, because you're so filled with doubt, that you'll be able to create it, right, that you're so filled with second guessing yourself, then that is your practice, right? So you find out every thought that you're having, everything that's in the way of you getting to that place of gratitude, okay? So those are your obstacles.
So you're starting to think, well, like for me, will I have enough time to create the advanced training? Will people who aren't Life Coach School coaches be prepared enough for the training? Will they be able to keep up?
Will they be completely overwhelmed? Will I have to slow everything down to make sure that everyone's caught up? Like all of those concerns, I don't know, it might just be too challenging.
And so then I won't feel grateful because everyone will be so overwhelmed. Like those sorts of things, if that's coming up for me, I need to clean those thoughts up, get that all out of the way, so then I can be in a space of gratitude. And it actually reveals a lot to me.
When I can't get to that place of gratitude, it's like I still have work to do, or maybe it's not the right goal, right? So I spend a lot of time really practicing that. And if it's hard for you to do that, if it's hard for you to get to a place of gratitude, one of the things that you can do is think about, like I said, think about something that you've already accomplished, something that you've already done for yourself, that you're thankful to yourself for, and see what that feels like.
Like, I'm so grateful that I married my husband. Like, I went through, when I first met Chris, I went through, I went through it. No, he went through it with me, so he probably shouldn't have married me, because I was cray-cray.
But I went through it, like, emotionally, and like, really trying to sabotage that relationship. And I was really scared, and I had a lot of issues, but I'm just so, and I was worried because he wasn't cheating on me, because he wasn't, you know, acting crazy, that there wasn't enough drama, that I was mistaking that, that there wasn't enough passion in the relationship. So now I can just sit back and be so grateful.
Like, girl, thank you for marrying that man, and thanks for having kids. And thank you so much for having the courage to start your own business and to go all in and to make lots of mistakes and all of those things. Like, I really want to spend some time of gratitude towards myself for doing all that stuff.
And when I can feel that way genuinely, then it's, you know, I practice feeling it in the present that it's easier for me to feel in the future. Now, people say you can't feel things in the future. You can only feel things from the past and in the present.
Well, the truth is you can only feel in the present, right? Your past only exists in your mind and your future only exists in your mind, which I want you guys to really think about that. Your past only exists in your mind, so you can make it whatever you want.
You can tell the story about it however you want to. You can create it in the way that you want. I actually was just reading a book and they were saying how inaccurate our memories of our past are.
They had people describe siblings, describe certain situations that had happened in the past and how completely inaccurate they are. We rewrite our past in a way that serves us or doesn't serve us, but isn't inaccurate. Has that ever happened to you?
You go back to a place and you're like, wait, this isn't right, this wasn't where this took place. Or you look at a picture and you're like, wait, what? No, I thought he had red hair.
You're so confused by it, by the reality of the past versus the story that we tell. So the story that we tell about our past is optional, and the story we tell about our future is optional. Like we get to create that future however we want in our mind, right?
And so how willing are you to create this amazing future in your mind? I'd be really thankful for having created. Now, here's what's interesting.
I suggest this to my students, I suggest this to my clients, and a lot of them are resistant to doing it. Like they don't want to go to the place where they are creating a future that they think is too big, right? Because then they think they're setting themselves up for disappointment, as if their future is already paved for them and they're just like being grandiose about it.
No, you get to decide if you want to create that in your future. I think that's exciting. So and when you go to the place where you've already created it, your vibration associates with it, right?
So all the work that I've done with Abraham and how a vibration attracts reality to you. So think about this. Your thought is the signal that you send out into the universe, and the vibration is what magnetizes it to you.
So when I was first studying Abraham, this is kind of interesting. When I was first studying Abraham, Abraham Hicks, for those of you who are new to my podcast, I learned about this idea that thinking deliberately and creating the vibrations in our body will bring associated vibration. So if you're in a vibration of gratitude, if you're in a vibration of abundance, if you're in a positive vibration, you will attract a lot of positive things to your life.
It's like the law of the law of attraction. And so I started visualizing having won the lottery. I have this weird thing.
I think I've talked about this on the podcast before. Well, I have this weird thing where I like to, when people win the lottery, I'd like to imagine what they're feeling. I like to imagine their life.
People that win 100 million dollars, does their head explode? How excited are they? People that win 10 million dollars.
What goes on for them? What do they think about? I just love fantasizing about it.
I think it's so interesting. And so when I first started studying Abraham, I started doing that. I started really kind of fantasizing and acting out in my mind, so I'd actually create the feeling of having won a million dollars in the lottery.
And what would that feel like? And what emotions would I have associated with that and that sort of thing? Could I create that vibration?
Or was there so much noise and doubt in the way that I couldn't get there? And there were times when I really struggled to get to that place where I could believe that I had won the lottery. But I learned so much from all of the barriers that came up to believing that.
And then I would just spend some time. So think about this, you guys. I want you to think about what it would feel like to win $100 million.
Like immediately you get a smile on your face. It's like so fun. You start thinking of like how you would spend that money, like what you would buy immediately, who you would send money to.
It's a really fun thing to do with your brain. And you can think about like the emotions that you would feel and how grateful you would feel and how excited you would feel. Now, have you won the lottery?
No. But are you still experiencing those emotions of having had won it because you've going to that place like really literally imagining yourself, what would you be wearing? What would you be doing?
Like really creating that in your mind, you get to feel those emotions. Now, all those positive emotions, that abundance, that excitement, those emotions are what the law of attraction responds to. So the more you can play with that, the better.
And so I like to picture like my goals in my life having already achieved them and feeling that gratitude ahead of time and creating that vibration and being so excited about it. Right? So have you ever like planned like, hey, I'm going to go visit one of my friends?
And you're like, oh my god, thank you so much for inviting me. Like you're not even there yet. You're just so full of gratitude already.
You're so sure you're going to be there. You're so sure you're going to have a good time. You're so sure that you're going to appreciate everything that happens that you're already feeling gratitude ahead of time.
You're already in that space. And when you come from that space, one of my girlfriends, Suyen, is always in a place of gratitude about whenever we spend time together. She's like, oh my god, I'm so excited to see you.
Oh my god, I'm so glad to see you. Oh my god, that was so awesome seeing you. She's such a breath of fresh air to be around, because she's in such a place of gratitude all the time.
And she's looking for it, too. Even when we are together, she's like, oh my god, that was such a good meal and that was so fun. And we look at what a beautiful day it is.
She's such in positive, wonderful energy. It's so wonderful to be around her. I love being around her because she creates that space of gratitude.
But it always starts beforehand. She's always in so much grace and gratefulness before she even comes. And so I think that if you can find your way to gratitude, then you almost ensure whatever it is is going to happen.
You create it in your own mind. So when you think about that thing that you want and you think about being grateful for having had it, one of the things that you can do then is memorize that feeling. Memorize what it feels like.
Then when you go about your day and you're like for me, then I go back and I'm creating this advanced training right now. When I'm thinking about the content, I start having doubt about, oh, is it too much? Is it not enough?
What should I do? Oh my gosh. Am I going to have two different kinds of students in there?
What's it? And when I start going on that doubt, then all I have to do is refocus my mind to that place of gratitude, refocus my mind to the place where it all was wonderful and I loved it. And it was such a great experience.
And it totally changes the way I'm feeling. And then I know exactly how much content to put in. I know exactly who to invite to the training.
I know exactly what to stipulate. I know exactly what to charge, right? Because I've gone there before, so I already know all the answers.
My future self, who's already grateful, already knows all the answers to those questions. So I have so much wisdom and I don't have to worry about anything. It completely eliminates worried because no, it's already done and we're already grateful about it.
It's already amazing. Okay, so you can access a whole another level of wisdom. And again, if you're not being able to get there, you've accessed all the obstacles that might be in the way and you've cleaned them all up.
Okay, so here's what you're going to do. First, you're going to fast forward to it's already done. Okay, and that's one of the things that Abraham says all the time, fast forward to where it's already done.
Consider it done. Like sometimes I like to say the FedEx packages in the mail. You've already received it, you've already opened it, you already love it.
Then you practice, literally practice ahead of time. Practice feeling gratitude. It's like you're preparing yourself for the big day when you're going to be so grateful.
You start practicing gratitude. Think about that. Like what do we practice?
We practice, you know, I practice webinars. We practice our lines for a play. We practice how we're going to walk, how we're going to smile, how we're going to be in certain situations, right?
I want you to practice this emotion of gratitude. Practice it ahead of time. Then the third thing you're going to do, so first was fast forward, second is practice, third is notice what interferes, what thoughts interfere with you feeling grateful and work on those, and then pay attention to how you feel.
Okay? One of the things that you'll be able to do as you're going through creating anything in your life is you'll be able to look at the results you're getting and the actions that you're taking in relation to this. And if you're not feeling positive emotion and if you're not creating the results that you're grateful for, you know that all you have to do is reset your emotions.
You have a model that you need to interfere with that's creating an emotion that's not producing the result you want. Take a minute, go back to gratitude, go back to that space where you are creating the result you want, where you are feeling gratitude for having created it, and that will give you a beautiful reset in order to create whatever you want in your life. I'm totally grateful that I've created this amazing advanced training and that so many of y'all came to it and loved it so much that you want me to do another one.
So I can't wait to do the next one. That's the space of gratitude that I'm in right now. Makes sense?
All right, you guys, have an amazing week. I love you all. See you next week.
Bye-bye. Thank you for listening to The Life Coach School Podcast. It is my honor to show up here every week and connect with people that are like-minded, wanting to take their life to a deeper level with more awareness and more consciousness.
If you are interested in taking this work to the next level, I highly encourage you to go to thelifecoachschool.com/howtofillbetteronline.
It is there that I have a class that will take all of this to a deeper application, where you'll be able to really feel and experience how all of these concepts can start showing up in your life. It's one thing to learn it intellectually. It's another thing to truly apply it to your life.
I will see you there. Thanks again for listening.
