Time and Trust.

Imagine walking into someone's house and finding money scattered everywhere.

Hundred-dollar bills on the floor. Thousands in the cupboards. Nothing counted, organized, or cared for.

That is how I picture the way many of us treat our time.

We would not be casual with diamonds or gold. Yet we can be very casual with the hours we have in a day.

Time is our most precious asset. How we treat it is also an opportunity to build trust.

Think about the value of twenty-four hours

When I spoke on a panel with Stedman Graham, he pointed out that we all have twenty-four hours in a day.

We do not have equal money, equal opportunities, or equal circumstances. But we each have that daily amount of time.

The idea had an impact on me because time is something we cannot simply get more of.

We have a limited experience on this planet.

If each hour were a diamond or an enormous amount of money, how would you approach it?

You can begin by planning time for the things you most want to do while you are here.

Then you can look at how you honor those plans.

Your word and your action teach people what to expect

One of the things I am known for is being punctual.

A driver in Austin once recognized me and commented on it. I loved that he had noticed.

I make an effort to begin and end classes and events when I say I will. I care about doing what I have told myself and other people I will do.

When someone consistently arrives when promised, you learn that their words mean something.

If they regularly say one time and appear at another, you begin interpreting their words differently.

That can affect more than scheduling. You may wonder how seriously to take other commitments.

Consistency between what you say and what you do is a way to build trust.

A late arrival can affect more than one person

When I was preparing my Austin penthouse to lease, movers said they would arrive between eleven and noon.

Noon came, and they were not there. The updated arrival time was twelve-thirty. They arrived around twelve-forty-five.

I was supposed to leave for a flight, and the driver waiting to take me had to wait an hour.

The movers did not acknowledge that they had missed their commitment.

I was thinking about the chain of effects: one person's time commitment influenced someone else's.

I could have canceled the movers and left on time. I did not. That day, I was late to meet the driver.

The point is not that I never experience an exception. It is that I want to distinguish an exception from the way I regularly operate.

Make room for exceptions without making them the pattern

Things happen that you cannot control.

You may underestimate traffic, mix up a time zone, or encounter a problem you did not anticipate.

I am not talking about those occasional situations as if they should never happen.

I am asking about most of the time.

Do you arrive at meetings and appointments when you say you will? Do you begin and end what you offer at the promised time?

If you do not, ask why.

How does the pattern affect the way you use your time and the way other people can use theirs?

Precision can make a relationship more relaxed

I have thought about the balance between being easygoing and being precise.

There can be something lovely about an easygoing attitude. People do not have to feel bad, and things can feel more fluid.

But there can also be uncertainty.

If someone says they are coming at five, do they mean five or sometime between five and six? If they mean a range, why not say the range?

My assistants know there is precision to my calendar, the beginning and end of our calls, and what I commit to doing for them.

I have asked myself whether that is too strict.

My conclusion is that certainty and commitment can be loving. When we know we can trust each other, we can relax.

We do not have to keep wondering whether someone will show up or acknowledge the missed commitment.

Consider how you treat another person's time

You may have a friend who always arrives on time.

Notice whether you become more punctual with that friend because you know they will be there.

I feel that way about my friend Moni. I do not want her waiting for me.

Her consistency has helped teach me how she treats time and how I want to treat hers.

I am not presenting this as an order that you must always be on time.

I am inviting you to think of your time and another person's time as precious assets.

How do you want to treat them?

Ask what you want to consume and create

Time is also about what you choose to do with your hours.

When I look at people with more money, success, or influence, I can ask whether they are treating their time as more valuable than I am treating mine.

I discussed social media with a friend and wondered about the time people spend consuming rather than creating.

I am not saying you should never scroll. I am saying the decision deserves to be conscious.

What do you want your time to give you? What do you want to create with it?

If you think of the day as twenty-four diamonds, how would you choose to spend them?

You can question a habitual use of time without turning it into another reason to criticize yourself.

Plan with the part of your brain that can think ahead

I recommend planning your week ahead of time and honoring that plan.

Use your prefrontal cortex to decide what you want to do rather than leaving every moment to the part of your brain that wants immediate comfort.

You can make a plan and still have your primitive brain protest it later.

Following through does not require the protest to disappear.

You can feel that resistance and do what you decided anyway.

Repeatedly doing that develops a different relationship with your own words. You know that your plan means something.

Use time to build trust with yourself

Your calendar can become a place where you practice keeping your word.

Decide what matters. Allocate time for it. Then honor the decision most of the time.

That is not only a way to complete tasks. It is a way to experience yourself as someone you can rely on.

The same practice helps the people you work with know what to expect from you.

What do you want to spend your time doing? How do you want to treat it? How do you want to create trust with it?

Take the questions seriously. The hours are part of the life you are creating, and they are yours to choose consciously.