Strong Minds, Money, and Worry: Your Questions Answered

Being strong-minded doesn't mean I have strong thoughts all the time.

I have painful, weak, worried, and negative thoughts, too. When you see me teaching or coaching, I have often already coached myself so I can be available to you.

That doesn't mean the other half of life has disappeared.

Your questions about strength, money, worry, and relationships come back to that distinction. We can use our minds to create more in our lives without expecting success to make us less human.

How do you stay strong-minded?

I don't always want to be strong. Sometimes I need to cry and fall apart. Recently, I was able to do that with my girlfriends, and it felt cathartic.

I don't think falling apart makes me weak. I think being willing to experience that is part of strength.

I do have faith in my ability to manage my mind, process emotions, and pull myself out of dark spaces. Having the Model and coaching myself regularly helps.

If you want to build mental strength, practice thoughts that remind you of your capability and what is possible in your future.

It isn't enough to choose one positive thought. Practice believing it. Practice being the person you want to be.

A difficult circumstance can be an opportunity to do that. Ask how you want to meet it and what it offers you the chance to strengthen.

Why talk openly about money?

I love money as a goal because it brings obstacles into awareness. Working through them helps us see how much we can create.

I also love creating money through coaching and serving people. I can help clients, employ people, and build a business that helps all of us earn.

Hearing Amy Porterfield talk about making a million dollars changed the trajectory of my life. Before that, it hadn't occurred to me to want to make a million dollars in a year.

Hearing another woman discuss her income made a new possibility visible.

That is one reason I talk about money. I want to normalize women making more and encourage us to see what is available.

Money doesn't make you better or more worthy. You are already completely worthy. It also doesn't remove the fifty-fifty experience of life.

You can choose whether to share your income. When we do talk about it, I want us to celebrate each other instead of comparing, despairing, or competing.

The more we all make, the more we all win.

How can I stop worrying so much?

Worry is an emotion I describe as indulgent. We can spin in it without moving forward and pretend it serves a necessary purpose.

First, remember that you are feeling a thought. Your brain may repeat it compulsively and perpetuate the worry.

Separate the facts from the story. The story is optional.

Then consider telling a different story. Back away from the details and look at the situation with fresh eyes.

When something isn't especially serious, I remind myself that it doesn't determine who I am or my worthiness.

When something significant is happening, I ask how I want to show up responsibly and usefully instead of assuming worry helps.

Sometimes I can't immediately change the thought or let go of the feeling. I carry it like a heavy purse and continue my day. I can feel it without treating it as an important instruction or letting it keep me stuck.

How do you explain what a life coach does?

I say I am a life coach. I love that term and feel proud to use it.

If someone asks more, I explain that I own The Life Coach School, train coaches, and coach people myself.

If they don't know what a life coach is, I tell them I work with people who want to take their lives from good to great. I teach tools for managing their minds to help them do that.

You don't have to avoid the name of your profession before the conversation even starts. Let someone ask the next question.

How is life better and worse after success?

More money has given me freedom to buy things, have experiences, help charities, give gifts, hire people, and invest in my business.

Those are real benefits.

It has also brought more responsibility. More employees and moving parts require more thought and care. I willingly take that on, but it is heavier than what I carried before.

As my business has grown, I have sometimes felt more isolated because fewer people relate to the challenges I am working through.

The excitement of making my first million supplied a kind of fuel. At a later stage, I have to generate more of that energy myself.

There are also more taxes, professional meetings, insurance decisions, and demands I wouldn't otherwise choose for my time.

It is worth it. And it is still fifty-fifty. My life was amazing before, and it is amazing now, with different challenges.

How do you get over a breakup with a soulmate?

My heart goes out to you. I know how painful a breakup can be when you believe you will never find someone like that again.

I believe we can have many soulmates. Some remain friends or chosen family. Some romantic partnerships complete.

Thinking that one person was your only chance can add unnecessary suffering to the grief.

Time can help, but it doesn't replace doing the work with yourself.

Process the pain, and ask what feels missing when you are alone. Can you feel complete without a romantic companion for this period of your life?

I see that as an opportunity to discover myself. When I am alone and in pain, without buffering or distractions, I can experience a very real connection with myself. I feel that connection in joy, too, hiking alone or with my dogs.

Notice whether you are resisting pain or allowing it, and whether your stories are creating additional suffering. This difficult experience can also help you meet yourself in a new way.

Why work with your kids on social media?

I wanted time with my kids and wanted them to experience how I run my company.

Creating and editing content gave them a chance to learn my material, make decisions, think independently, and try things that might fail.

I wanted them to feel that pressure and know it was okay to mess something up.

It also let us create together and share more of my behind-the-scenes life. I wasn't the social media expert. They worked with the team and figured things out.

That experience combined work, learning, and time together. It was another way to use what we had to create something we wanted.