Remember Your Future

Imagine yourself twenty years from now.

Not only the version who achieved your biggest goal. Imagine your age, your relationships, and the ways the world around you may have changed.

Then let that person come back and give you a heads-up.

What does your future self want you to appreciate? What does she want you to start doing? What might you regret overlooking?

This exercise made me think differently about caring for myself and the people I love right now.

Future-self work happens in the present

Some people worry that thinking about the future means missing the moment they are in.

I want to distinguish the work I teach from postponing happiness.

You cannot actually be in the future or the past. When you imagine them, you are having thoughts and feelings now.

Future-self work uses those thoughts to generate present feelings and actions.

It is different from believing you will only be happy, worthy, or complete after you arrive somewhere else.

That belief can create anxiety and pull your attention away from your life today.

The purpose here is to help you live consciously now.

Look beyond the ideal version of your future

I often teach imagining who you want to be in five, ten, or twenty years and becoming that person now.

You can use that vision to access wisdom about your decisions.

A friend recommended Benjamin Hardy's book Be Your Future Self Now. At the time of recording, I had not finished the whole book, but an early exercise gave me a different perspective.

Instead of only picturing the best possible life, I imagined myself twenty years older.

At fifty-one, that meant imagining myself at seventy-one.

I thought about myself physically and mentally, but also about everyone around me.

Imagine what may be different

My sons would be in their forties. They might be married or have children.

My friends, parents, and everyone I worked with would also be twenty years older.

I considered what the business might look like and whether we would still be working together.

Then I asked what I had accomplished, what those accomplishments felt like, and what I might regret.

It was a very different exercise from only imagining a goal achieved.

It made me consider the life around the goal.

Let the advice include enjoying what is here

The advice from that future self is not only a set of directions for reaching an ideal life.

It can be a reminder about what you will not have in quite the same way later.

I thought about my sons being independent and single, still wanting to spend time with me.

They might have their own families later. I wanted to appreciate the time we had in this particular phase.

Who do you want to spend more time with now?

What is available in your life today that may change?

Thinking about the future can help you become more present for those things.

Consider how you want to care for yourself

When I asked my boyfriend what his future self would say, his answer was to stretch.

That made me laugh, and it also made sense.

We talked about taking care of our bodies and maintaining flexibility, not only physically but emotionally.

For me, the exercise raised questions about caring for my health as I aged.

There are things I cannot control. I also want to recognize the choices that are mine.

I am not trying to stay young forever. Aging is part of life.

I want to balance caring for myself with enjoying a full, adventurous life.

We are not promised those twenty years

A shocking loss gave these questions more weight for me.

I had met a young entrepreneur at a conference and spent much of our time there with her. We had connected and had a wonderful experience together.

A couple of years later, my friend Aprille told me she had been diagnosed with advanced colon cancer.

Within days of learning about it, I learned she had died.

She was thirty-four. It affected me deeply.

The experience reminded me how precious life is and how much of the daily nonsense we spend energy on can fall away when we recognize that.

She was young and vibrant, with plans she would never have the opportunity to live.

Even when we care for ourselves, we cannot control everything.

I wanted to think seriously about what I could do with the life I had.

If looking forward feels difficult, look back

Another way into the exercise is to imagine advising yourself twenty years ago.

What would you have wanted that person to begin doing consistently?

What would make a meaningful difference to your life now?

That was around when I started my business. In many ways, my past self had taken good care of the person I had become.

There were other things I would have suggested, including starting pickleball earlier.

Think about what you have learned from that perspective, then use it to consider the person you will be later.

What would you be glad you began today?

Write down who is precious to you

After the future-self exercise and the loss, I made a list of every person precious to me, including myself.

For each one, I asked whether there was anything I wanted to say, do, or experience together that I had not yet done.

If I did not have them in my life later, what would I wish I had chosen now?

I wanted to put aside the shallow grievances and focus on the connection.

You can make that list, too.

Include what you want to do and say with yourself, not only with other people.

Use the perspective to choose now

What do you need to appreciate more?

What do you want to care for? What do you want to practice consistently?

How would listening to your future self change the way you act today?

I felt grateful and complete about much of what I had created, including my work, children, and relationships.

I also wanted to make changes and show up differently in some areas. That desire gave me a strong sense of purpose.

We are not guaranteed twenty more years. But if we receive them, we can have twenty years of consciously choosing what matters.

Remember your future. Let it help you appreciate and care for your life now.