Jealousy. Enough Money. Forgiveness.

A strong emotion can make you want to act immediately. It can also give you a chance to understand yourself before you do.

Jealousy, guilt, and discomfort about change don't have to become reasons to control someone else or turn against yourself.

Your questions about relationships, money, and forgiveness all offer opportunities to look at what you are thinking, allow what you are feeling, and decide what you want to create.

How do you deal with jealousy?

Jealousy often comes from feeling threatened by a third person in a relationship. I see that as a normal primal experience, not a reason to blame yourself.

It is still caused by a thought.

That doesn't mean you shouldn't feel it. It doesn't mean it is inappropriate. Your partner may be doing something outside the boundaries you have agreed on, and you may want to keep the thought you are having.

Start by separating the circumstance from your story. What factually happened? Put that in the C line.

Then identify the thought. Maybe you think your partner likes someone else more, finds them prettier, or will leave you for them. Put jealousy in the F line.

Before acting, experience the emotion in your body. Describe where it is and what the vibration feels like. Become the watcher and remind yourself that this is jealousy.

Notice the action it makes you want to take. For me, that can be yelling, protecting, cajoling, and controlling.

Those actions usually create separation. But what I actually want is connection, communication, and security.

Seeing the whole Model gives me the chance to choose a different one. After doing my own work, I can explain what is happening in my mind and ask what is true for the other person without expecting them to solve my emotion.

Make room for feelings and clear agreements

Trying to prevent every moment of jealousy can turn into trying to control your partner.

I allow room for jealousy. Someone I am with can notice or appreciate another woman's beauty, and I may feel jealous. I know I can handle that feeling.

That is my choice. You need to decide what is appropriate in your own relationship.

I also have clear agreements. In a committed relationship, we talk about fidelity and what we consider appropriate when interacting with others.

In an open dating relationship, I don't want conversations about the other people someone is dating. That needs to be a want match we discuss ahead of time.

One thought that helps me is that if someone wants to be with someone else more than me, I don't want them to stay with me. I want them to live the life they choose.

If your partner is jealous, invite an honest conversation about what they are thinking and what you are doing. There may be something you don't care about doing that you are happy to change.

But don't become a people-pleaser who hides or lies to protect their feelings. That creates separation instead of connection.

How do you know you have outgrown a friendship?

As you change, the chemistry and connection in a friendship may change, too.

Ask what you value in that person and why you are friends. If you met today, would you choose to develop the friendship?

A no doesn't necessarily require a breakup conversation. The relationship can gently change form while you still love the person and remain friendly.

When my kids went to college and I got divorced, I no longer put the same emphasis on neighborhood community. Some friendships based on proximity faded when I moved. Others stayed close across the country because proximity wasn't their foundation.

A relationship built around buffering can need a different approach. If you drink, overeat, or hide from your lives together, a clean break may be useful, temporarily or permanently.

You can honestly explain that going out for drinks is difficult when you are trying not to drink and suggest a walk instead.

Removing the buffering may reveal it was what held the relationship together. Use your judgment about whether a conversation is helpful. Not every change needs an announcement.

When will you have enough money?

I had enough a long time ago.

A clean home, sunlight, friends, dogs, a hiking trail, and books bring me joy. I know that is enough for me, and knowing it creates freedom.

Earning more isn't about reaching an amount that will finally make me feel a certain way. It is about challenging myself, seeing what I am capable of, and breaking through the ceilings I and society have put on women.

Money is one way I use my brain to create abundance. Coaching lets me create value that helps people and earn money through that contribution.

I also love giving money, gifts, trips, and experiences to people. Sometimes sharing those experiences helps someone imagine a possibility they hadn't considered.

I feel grateful for the women who made financial independence possible for me. I want to use that opportunity to create and help as much as I can.

It is already enough, and I still want to see what I can do. Both are true.

When should you change a thought?

Always be willing to sit with the negative emotion first.

Don't resist it, buffer it, or hide from it. Allow it.

When you are willing to experience the feeling, you become less afraid of it and less urgent about changing your thought.

Sometimes you allow the emotion, identify the thought, and simply let it go. You don't need to manufacture a replacement thought or a whole new Model.

Earlier in learning this work, changing thoughts can help you experience how thinking creates feeling. With more practice, you may find that awareness and allowing are enough for a thought to release.

How do you forgive yourself?

Ask what is preventing forgiveness. There is a thought holding you in shame or guilt about what happened.

That thought may not be helping you or anyone else. The story afterward, the self-loathing, and the repeated attacks on yourself can perpetuate the damage.

You will make mistakes. The choice isn't whether to be fallible. It is whether to use your mistakes against yourself or use them as an opportunity to love more.

You can see the truth, grow from the experience, and have your own back.

Your life matters, including the mistakes. Your worthiness remains complete.

Is the Model the only tool that works?

No. There are many tools, approaches, and therapies that work.

The Model changed my life and has helped thousands of people. I find it simple, elegant, and useful. It is the tool that works best for me.

That doesn't mean it is the only option. If we find something better, I want to know about it. We can keep learning, upgrading, and evolving.