How To Be Proud of Yourself

When I reached four hundred podcast episodes, I wanted to pause and be proud of myself. Four hundred weeks of sitting in front of a microphone, showing up, and sharing what I was learning.

We don't do enough of this. We accomplish something we wanted and then diminish it. We tell ourselves it won't last, we had help, or we got lucky. We move on without fully acknowledging what we did.

I want you to learn how to own your accomplishments. Privately, in your own mind, and out loud with another person. You get to feel proud of the life you have created.

Make a list of what you have done

In The Success Principles, Jack Canfield offered an exercise that helped me: write down the accomplishments of your life.

Start with learning to walk, finishing third grade, getting through your first heartbreak, and getting your first job. Keep going. Include what you did to survive, what you did to thrive, and what you created.

Don't reserve pride for one huge achievement. Look at the whole of your life and everything you have put your heart on the line for.

I asked a friend who was making well over a million dollars whether she was celebrating and acknowledging herself. It was an enormous accomplishment. But how often do we achieve a dream and immediately explain why it doesn't count?

When we give ourselves approval and acknowledgment, it energizes us to keep showing up. We can be motivated by celebration rather than depletion and self-criticism.

Be proud of the work no one else can see

I grew up with an alcoholic father, a depressed single mother, and abuse. I did work to heal, forgive, and become stronger. I suffered, felt pain, studied, grew, and then shared what I learned.

Living publicly takes courage. I chose to contribute rather than hide, and that meant doing things I was afraid to do.

I also looked at the life I created inside my brain. I started with self-loathing and a survival response. I did thousands of Models and thought downloads. I apologized, made mistakes, showed up differently, failed, and comforted myself.

Mostly, I committed to having my own back and telling myself the truth. I didn't need to pretend I was better than I was. I could acknowledge being tough and scared, loving and demanding, deep and shallow.

That work matters. When other people disagree with your choices, standing behind who you are and what you believe can be hard. Let yourself acknowledge it.

Look at the relationships you have created

My children are my two best creations. I reflected on the work of parenting them, how close we are, how they reach out for connection and help, and how much I enjoy the people they are.

My marriage to Chris was a beautiful creation we had for twenty-two years. It is complete, but the family we created is still connected and full of love.

I also feel proud of my friendships and chosen family. I have pictures of my friends around my house, and sometimes I walk through it and acknowledge the time, energy, and love I have put into those connections.

Think about the relationships in your life. What have you shown up for? What have you helped create? Take a minute to breathe that in instead of treating it as something that just happened.

Own your contribution

When I look at my career, I feel proud of the Model and how I have taught it. The Model isn't a truth I invented. It is a way I talk about a truth that exists and that other people describe in different ways.

I'm proud of how it has been received, the debates we've had about it, and the lives it has changed.

I looked at the podcast, Scholars, and Certification as creations. Scholars brought together years of my work. Certification grew from a small group in a room into coaches serving people and building businesses around the world.

One day I found a podcast on a topic I needed help with and realized the host was a coach I had trained. She was now giving me something I needed. That was an incredible experience of the ripple effect.

Look at the value you have created in your job or business. What exists in the way it does because you were there? Consider the whole of what you have done, rather than just the task in front of you today.

Stop comparing your creations

Your contribution isn't supposed to be someone else's contribution. You don't need to compare it with Oprah's, your neighbor's, or anyone else's.

Your creation is meant to be yours. It affects your people and the circles around them.

Celebrating yourself doesn't require thinking you are better than another person. Nobody is better than you, and you aren't better than anyone else. We can celebrate ourselves and other people too.

For many of us, saying we love ourselves goes against the familiar habit of not feeling good enough. Feeling proud can take deliberate practice. That's why I demonstrate it.

Tell one other person

Write your acknowledgment down or record it. Then share it with at least one person.

You might ask your best friend whether they are willing to hear how proud you are of yourself. You could exchange acknowledgments and listen to what they are proud of too.

It can feel vulnerable to think highly of yourself out loud. But you get to choose what you want to think.

I chose to feel proud of four hundred episodes and grateful for everyone who listened and used the work. No one else's opinion needed to change that.

Look at your life. Own the work, the courage, the relationships, and the contribution. Let yourself feel proud of what you have created.