Help People

How can I help right now?

That question has helped me when I have felt discouraged, frustrated, or caught up in my own negative thoughts.

It does not mean ignoring what is happening in your life. You still need awareness of your thoughts and care for your emotional life.

But there is also an opportunity to offer something to another person.

Not to get their appreciation. Not to prove how good you are. Not because you feel guilty.

Simply because there is something you genuinely want to give.

Begin with self-awareness

When I recorded this episode, many people around me were having a difficult year. They were navigating diagnoses, business challenges, and relationship struggles.

One way I have handled my own challenges is to understand what is happening for me and then teach what I learn.

That can be healing.

The first part is recognizing the difference between what is happening in the world and what is happening in your brain.

There is the circumstance. Then there are your thoughts about it.

Notice when you are reacting, lashing out, blaming, or complaining instead of managing your mind.

I understand that temptation because I do it, too. But it often creates more problems rather than helping.

Notice the emotional loop

When we feel frustrated, anxious, or inadequate, we can become absorbed in our own experience and stay in an unproductive loop.

I was watching the show Alone, in which people try to survive by themselves in remote conditions.

They need food, warmth, shelter, and physical care. They also have to deal with their brains.

With long hours in the dark and thoughts about the people they miss, the emotional experience becomes a major part of whether they stay.

That reminded me how important our mental lives are, even when there are demanding circumstances to navigate.

In our own lives, paying attention to that emotional loop can help us see another direction to take.

Service can shift your experience

Helping people has been an extraordinary part of my life.

I receive messages from people who tell me the work has changed their lives. Knowing my life has been useful is wonderful.

But their feedback is not the main reason I recommend helping when you are struggling.

There is something in the moment of contribution itself that can change how you feel.

You can give anonymously and still experience the benefit. You do not need the recipient to complete it with a particular response.

I want you to explore that genuine experience of usefulness.

Ask what you know and what you have

Start with three questions: How can I help? What do I know that could help someone? What do I have that could help?

For me, I have knowledge about thoughts, emotions, and managing the brain.

I also have time and money I can offer.

Just identifying those things helps me feel more empowered. I can see something useful I can do instead of only replaying my own emotional drama.

Your answers may be different.

Think about what is available to you in this moment, not only what you wish you had.

The help can be small

Next, ask who could benefit from your help right now.

It might be holding a door, helping someone carry something, or making something easier for a person nearby.

You do not have to create an enormous, deeply meaningful project.

You could spend an hour out in the world with the purpose of helping people and notice how you feel afterward.

You could volunteer, donate, or give money. You could do it anonymously.

The size of the action is not the point. The genuine offer is.

Remember why you chose to serve

If you are a life coach or service provider, it can be easy to become absorbed in the challenges of your work.

Building a business or working for someone else may bring frustration, blame, and mental suffering.

Stop and ask what you know right now that could help another human being without expecting something in return.

This podcast has often been that opportunity for me.

Some weeks I am excited to teach. Other weeks I show up when it is inconvenient, when I am grumpy, or after I have made a mistake.

I offer something useful and feel better afterward.

The contribution helps me remember what I am doing and why.

You can practice this within your job

It is easy to focus only on the exchange of work for money.

That can obscure the broader purpose of what you do.

Even if you do not especially like your job or employer, you can ask who you could help there in this moment.

How could you contribute in a way that is needed or unexpected?

It does not have to become something you do all day, every day.

It can be a moment when you notice your frustration and choose to offer something helpful.

Pay attention to the emotion that comes with the contribution.

Do not make helping into people pleasing

I am not encouraging you to help out of guilt or against your will.

That is not the offer I am describing.

If you need someone to appreciate you or give something back, you are looking for a return rather than the experience of giving itself.

Ask what you truly want to offer.

And if you are helping with someone's mindset, remember that we do not coach people against their will.

When someone wants support, you can help them see a different perspective without making them feel bad for the thoughts they currently have.

The purpose is not to elevate yourself because someone else needs help. It is to offer what you can.

Find your own way to contribute

I love helping people succeed, feel better, evolve, and make their own contributions.

Sometimes that means helping someone notice thoughts that are holding them back and consider a different way to look at what is possible.

For you, it may be something else entirely.

Look at the small things and the larger things you could offer.

When I have felt most discouraged or caught in self-loathing, asking what I can give helps me see my usefulness again.

I am not only someone sitting in a corner feeling miserable. I can make a contribution.

If you are struggling, begin by understanding your own experience. Then consider the question.

How can I help for a minute, an hour, or a day?

Offer it from your heart, without expecting anything back.

Help the people.