Determination

Determination is not something you are born with or without.

I think of it as a strength you can develop. It is a positive emotion you can generate and build evidence for through your actions.

When I think about determination, I feel warmth, appreciation, and pride. What happens when you think about it? Does it feel like something you want to develop, or does it sound exhausting?

Your relationship with determination matters. I want to invite you to create one that serves you.

Keep trying when it is difficult

My favorite definition of determination is the ability to continue trying something even though it is difficult.

How do you build that ability? You make the decision to keep going. Then you make it again.

It is simple to understand and difficult to execute. That difficulty is part of what makes developing it worthwhile.

You can be intelligent, educated, and talented and still give up before you create the success you want. I have coached people who wanted to quit their businesses at the first sign of adversity.

If you were a great student and successful employee, entrepreneurship can be disorienting. You are used to studying, finding the right answer, and getting an A. Building a company involves trial and error. A lot of error.

Errors do not automatically mean the business is not for you. They are part of the adventure.

Stay committed to the purpose, not one approach

Determination does not mean you never change your process or direction.

You may need a different approach to reach your goal. Staying determined means remaining committed to the dream and the ideas you want to put into the world.

Firmness of purpose makes a difference. Think about how differently you would approach a task if your child's life depended on it. Self-doubt would not be a reason to sleep in. You would give it everything you had, even if you did not feel confident.

You do not have to wait until all doubt disappears before you act.

Value who you become along the way

Being in a hurry for a result makes determination harder.

When I look at the results in my business, I am proud of becoming someone who could create them. I am proud of the obstacles I overcame, the frustration I worked through, the early mornings, the learning, and the emotions I processed.

That experience gave me confidence. Determination became a resource I knew I could draw on.

You cannot build strong muscles without lifting something heavy. In this work, the obstacles are the weights. Avoiding every challenge also avoids the opportunity to develop strength.

Reaching a goal does not take you to a life without negative emotion. Life remains a balance of positive and negative. The point is to explore your capacity and see what you can create.

Make decisions for the long term

I describe our survival brain as seeking pleasure, avoiding pain, and conserving energy. I call that the motivational triad.

It wants relief now. It does not want the pressure, effort, or discomfort of the hard thing.

We also have the ability to make deliberate decisions for our future. Developing determination requires honoring those decisions even when immediate relief looks appealing.

One question I use is how much of a hurry I am in. If I urgently want to eat, drink, escape pain, or get the result, I notice that pull toward immediate relief.

When you are frustrated that you do not have clients or money yet, examine the belief that arriving there will make everything better. That belief can make the process feel unbearable.

Practice decisions that build determination

First, make decisions that do not let fear rule the day. Notice the impulse to hide, then choose to move forward.

Second, withstand temptation. You can recognize an urge and allow it to be present without consistently giving in. That might be the temptation to stay in bed, avoid showing up, or skip a sales call.

Third, keep taking action without knowing whether it will succeed.

Imagine finding a path up a mountain. You can stand at the fork trying to guarantee the correct choice, or walk down a path and learn whether it works. If it does not, turn around and try another. The detour gives you information.

Fourth, learn from failure. Do not make an unsuccessful attempt mean you or your goal will not work. Use it as knowledge for the next attempt.

Celebrate success and honor your word

I notice that students who are determined to succeed often celebrate other people's success. They feel inspired and admire what is possible.

Putting other people's wins down can become a way to feel better about giving up. Notice that tendency if it appears.

Also honor the decisions you make for yourself ahead of time. You decided to go to the gym, create content, or make the calls. When the moment arrives, deliver what you asked of yourself.

That is an expression of respect, commitment, and love for yourself.

Watch the little quits

It is often a pile of little quits that leads to the big one.

You decide this small task will not matter. You skip another. Each seems insignificant on its own.

Every time you choose instead to honor yourself, you build your ability to remain determined. Patience, discipline, and persistence develop along with it.

Watch for entitlement to an easier process and intense self-criticism. Doubt is normal when you have not yet created evidence of your capacity. That is why determination is needed.

You may never achieve a particular goal. I still believe you are better off having bet on yourself, learned, acted, and made the attempt than never trying.

Choose a result you want to work toward. Then practice the decision to keep going when the evidence makes quitting easy. Developing that determination is an accomplishment in itself.