Delay Discounting

Would you rather have a smaller reward now or a larger one later?

The answer can change depending on how long you have to wait.

Ten dollars today or fifteen dollars next week may make waiting seem easy. But if the fifteen dollars is a year away, you may prefer the ten now.

That is delay discounting: making something less valuable because you have to wait for it.

We do this with much more than money. We discount the benefit of feeling good tomorrow, building a business over years, or creating a relationship we truly want because immediate gratification feels more compelling.

Learning not to discount the future has been one of the most powerful skills in my life.

Practice thinking beyond this moment

I simplify the brain into two parts when I teach this. The primitive brain wants immediate gratification. The prefrontal cortex lets us think ahead, plan, and consider future rewards.

Think of these as skills you can practice.

The more you deliberately plan, visualize the future, and allow an urge without acting on it, the better you become at choosing for the long term.

Discipline and delayed gratification are skills. They aren't qualities you either happen to have or can never develop.

You can practice making the future reward more important instead of discounting it because it isn't available today.

Notice where the immediate reward wins

When I was overdrinking, I drank Chardonnay alone in the evenings.

I didn't want to feel terrible the next day. But in the moment, I valued the immediate pleasure of the wine more than feeling good in the morning.

I was discounting tomorrow.

I had to train myself to appreciate the longer-term accomplishment instead of choosing the immediate hit.

After doing that work with food and alcohol, I applied it to money. I began making bigger goals more valuable than quick cash.

There have been many opportunities to earn money quickly at the expense of long-term success. At The Life Coach School, we sometimes make decisions that delay revenue because of what they can create later.

That takes discipline, especially when you are excited about a goal and want cash flow now.

Give your goal a longer runway

How far into the future do you think?

When I ask about your future, are you thinking about next week, next year, or ten years from now?

Then ask how far ahead you want to think.

A ten- or twenty-five-year goal gives you a different perspective from a goal you insist must happen immediately. You can also have a one-year goal and let the two work together.

A long runway gives you space to explore possibilities and pursue something before you know exactly how to create it.

If you don't get immediate results, that doesn't mean your work has gone wrong. It may mean you are doing work whose benefit is still ahead.

I am willing to work hard now for a result I may not see for a year or two. I want you to consider what becomes available when you practice that, too.

Enjoy creating before the numbers arrive

For my fiftieth birthday, I started a personal Instagram account. I had never had one before and had to ask friends how the buttons, audio, and videos worked.

I wanted to share life lessons and build connections. I also knew I needed boundaries because I could get lost scrolling.

People pointed out that my personal account had far fewer followers than The Life Coach School account. But I wasn't depending on an immediate hit of likes or followers to enjoy the process.

I was learning, creating, and connecting.

I imagined eventually having a hundred thousand followers. Whether that took one year, three years, or five didn't make the accomplishment less valuable.

The same applies to my hundred-million-dollar goal. It can be just as beautiful in eight years as this year.

Still wanting the result doesn't mean I have to hurry.

Don't dismiss the future because it is far away

What would you like to accomplish when you are twenty-five years older?

If your first response is that it is too far away to matter, notice the discounting.

You don't spend time imagining the future because it seems distant, and then it loses importance in your present choices.

Consider weight loss. If losing fifty pounds took two years, would you dismiss it because it should happen faster?

Why not allow that time if you could consistently improve, move toward the goal, and enjoy the process?

The delay doesn't have to erase the value.

In relationships, you may settle for someone available now instead of remaining available for a relationship you want more. Immediate gratification can compete with the longer-term desire.

Notice whether the thing you choose today is moving you toward your true desire or away from it.

Build a relationship with your future self

Your relationship with yourself includes your past, present, and future selves.

I am grateful to my past self for addressing overeating and overdrinking, becoming a coach, creating the School, hiring people, saving money, and not quitting.

I benefit from her work now.

I want my future self to feel that same gratitude toward me. I think about what she will want and what I can do for her today.

I can appreciate her future accomplishment ahead of time instead of treating it as less important than a present pleasure.

Where are you dismissing that opportunity? Are you telling yourself the post, blog, or podcast doesn't matter because almost nobody sees it yet?

When I began this podcast, few people were listening. But recording gave me practice. By the time more people arrived, I had improved and accumulated knowledge that helped me serve them.

Value what the process is teaching you

When I reach a goal, I won't just have the result. I will also have practiced not quitting, working hard, making decisions, and showing up.

The things I practice are the things I get better at.

You can allow urges and emotion, enjoy the work, and appreciate the result that is still ahead. This doesn't need to become constant deprivation and suffering.

Stop making the future less valuable because it requires waiting. Give yourself the chance to create what your future self will thank you for.