Two Types of Emotions

Choose emotional fuel that supports the action you want to take.

You may be waiting for a result before allowing yourself to feel confident. Once the project succeeds, you will believe in it. Once progress is obvious, you will feel motivated.

But what feeling is driving your actions while you wait?

The emotions you experience now matter because they influence what you do now. Instead of asking only how you want to feel after achieving a goal, consider the emotional fuel you need to pursue it.

Look beyond positive and negative

One way I categorize emotions in this episode is by whether they produce or deplete energy. This is a practical distinction for choosing the actions you want to take.

Peace can be a wonderful feeling. But it may not create the same approach to a demanding project as focus, determination, or curiosity.

Anger may produce plenty of energy, yet lead to actions you do not want. So the question is not simply whether a feeling is comfortable or energetic. Ask what it leads you to do.

You are choosing fuel for a particular purpose.

The result is not the beginning of the Model

The Self Coaching Model follows thoughts, feelings, actions, and results. Thoughts create feelings, feelings drive actions, and actions create results.

When you wait for a result to give you a feeling, notice the thought that you expect to have about that result. Perhaps you expect to think that your work is paying off or that you can trust yourself.

Those are thoughts you can examine now. You may be able to find a believable way to support yourself before the evidence looks exactly as you hoped.

This is not a guarantee of a particular outcome. It is a way to take responsibility for the mindset you bring to the work.

Match the feeling to the action

Imagine preparing to launch a service. You need to speak with potential clients, make decisions, and respond to feedback.

Confusion may lead you to keep gathering information without making a choice. Curiosity may lead you to ask useful questions and test an idea. Commitment may help you follow through even when an early response is disappointing.

List the actions your goal requires. Then ask what feelings would support those actions.

You might choose focus, courage, or steadiness. Choose words that have a meaningful connection to how you actually behave.

Begin with what you currently feel

Do not skip directly to an inspiring thought while ignoring the emotion that is already present.

Notice what is happening in your body. Name the feeling. Ask what thought is creating it and what actions follow from it.

If you feel discouraged, examine the interpretation underneath it. Is one slow week becoming proof that the entire project will fail?

Understanding that connection helps you work with the actual thinking rather than reciting words that you do not believe.

Choose a thought you can practice

Ask what you would need to believe to feel the emotional fuel you selected. A useful thought might be that you can learn from this attempt or that you can complete the next step without knowing every answer.

Check whether the thought is believable. Notice the feeling it produces. Then connect that feeling to a specific action.

If the thought only creates an argument in your mind, adjust it until you find something you can honestly work with.

Generate fuel before you need the proof

You can still welcome success and enjoy the results of your work. You do not have to make them your only source of encouragement.

Choose the feelings that support how you want to participate. Practice the thoughts that create those feelings. Then take the actions the goal requires.

That gives you a more deliberate way to work than waiting for the outcome to manage your emotions for you.