Model Questions and Tips

The Model doesn’t need to become complicated to become powerful.

Its purpose is discovery and awareness. You can observe your brain with your brain. You can write down a thought, see the feeling it creates, and understand the actions and results that follow.

That simple process can change the way you experience your life.

In Episode 365, I answered common questions about the Self-Coaching Model. Before using advanced tips, I want you to understand the depth available in its basic form.

Don’t rush to destroy the old thought

When you discover negative thinking, you may want to eliminate every thought immediately. You see what it creates and become afraid of letting it remain.

I understand that response. But sometimes rushing to a positive replacement skips the most important insight: the original thought is optional.

If you believe life is hard, you may think you are reporting a fact. Discovering that it is a thought gives you a different relationship with it.

You don’t need to scramble to insist life is wonderful before you have understood what your current thinking creates.

Imagine finding dust under a couch. You don’t need another couch to cover it. You can see the dust and clean it.

Look at your current Models with curiosity. Understand the thought, its influence, and whether you want to keep choosing it. You can let it go gently.

Practice a thought until it produces a feeling

An Intentional Model includes thinking you want to practice, a feeling you want to create, actions, and a result.

Writing it down is the beginning. Living into it requires practice.

Repeating a sentence without feeling anything isn’t the same as believing it. If you tell yourself you love yourself but say it mechanically, you may have an affirmation that falls flat.

Practice thinking the thought in a way that creates love. Mean it. Connect to it. Notice the emotion in your body.

That feeling can inspire loving actions: getting sleep, caring for your home, planning your day, being gentle with yourself, or taking care of your body.

Thoughts create feelings, which drive actions and results. Practice the connection rather than only the words.

Take action from the new Model, too

You don’t have to wait until an emotion is perfectly established before taking action that belongs to your Intentional Model.

If loving yourself includes honoring commitments, telling the truth, or going to sleep earlier, practice those actions as well.

You can think and feel into the new Model and take massive action from it. Those approaches help solidify the way you want to live.

You will see the practice working as your results change.

How do you stop believing an old thought?

First, recognize it as a thought. That can be harder than it sounds when you have believed it so deeply that it feels like a fact.

Separate the facts from your opinions and judgments. What actually happened, without the meaning you have added?

You can also look for contrary evidence. If you have collected evidence for being unworthy, look at what you can find for the opposite belief.

Seeing another interpretation can help you recognize that the original one is optional.

You don’t always have to stop believing a thought immediately to stop choosing to think it on purpose. You can redirect your attention without wrestling it away.

It may return. That gives you another opportunity for awareness and practice.

Keep the lines clear

People ask whether a result can be a feeling. It can, but I generally recommend showing what your actions have created in your life.

If an action creates a new thought and feeling, consider putting that in another Model rather than blurring the result line.

Being precise about what belongs in each line can require you to think more deeply and gain better insight.

If you keep writing Models but don’t see the progress you want, having a coach review them can help. You may be placing thoughts where facts belong or overlooking beliefs you consider observations.

Don’t assume that more written Models automatically mean deeper understanding.

Why stay with an uncomfortable feeling?

You can change a thought, but immediately replacing every negative feeling can prevent you from learning to feel.

Allowing emotion expands your capacity. You become less afraid of frustration, fear, humiliation, or other feelings that might arise when you put yourself into the world.

That willingness gives you room for bigger goals and risks.

It can also make the connection between a thought and a feeling more obvious. You watch it happen rather than only understand it intellectually.

You may want to feel sad or angry about something. We aren’t saying you should be happy about painful events. We want you to be aware of your thinking and feelings, rather than experience them unconsciously.

Allowing emotion without buffering can help you find a thought you haven’t yet recognized.

When an old Model feels like your identity

Some Models persist because they have become part of how you define yourself. A familiar explanation for your pain may feel like a necessary part of who you are.

Letting it go can require more than swapping a sentence. It can feel like becoming a new version of yourself.

Be gentle and loving through that process. You may be releasing patterns, evidence, and a story that has supported your identity for a long time.

The timing varies. Some thoughts change as soon as you see them. Others require ongoing commitment and practice.

Create the new emotion now

Put your intentional thinking in the present tense so you can experience its emotional fuel now.

If you place abundance or excitement only in the future, you may keep postponing the feeling that would help you take action today.

Practice the new identity in the present. Look for evidence that supports it. Take the actions that belong to it.

Over time, you start noticing Models in daily life without always sitting down to write them. You recognize your thoughts, feelings, and choices. You can also recognize that other people act from their own Models.

Keep returning to the simple understanding: thoughts are optional, and they create feelings. Go deeply enough into that discovery that it changes how you live.