Lessons from Success

Own what you have created, play the long game, and do not miss the joy of becoming.

The sweetest part of success is not what I have in my pocket. It is knowing I can create it.

When I look at the results I have created with the Model, I feel proud and humbled. I am not an exception to the rule. I am not better than anyone else. I have practiced using my thinking, feelings, and actions to create what I wanted.

That is what I want to teach: not just how to get a particular result, but how to become someone who understands her ability to create results.

Success has taught me some things I did not understand before I experienced it.

Being a good person is the starting line

A young man in my life once texted me because he felt everything was against him. His parents were divorcing, things were difficult, and he felt that being a good person should be enough for life to go his way.

I told him being a good person was the starting line. He also needed to decide what he wanted and go after it.

You cannot require your parents, your boss, or life to be a certain way before you begin. You need courage to try, fail, and try again.

Self-pity does not create the same actions as courage. When you know what you want, look at the feeling that will help you pursue it and the thought that creates that feeling.

I decided I wanted to create success. Then I did the work. It was not effortless, and I am proud of having gone through the discomfort.

Own your success without explaining it away

You do not owe everyone a justification for your success.

If you make money in your business, own it. You do not have to diminish it or apologize for it.

I hear people explain that their businesses are not about the money; they are about contribution or lifestyle. Why can they not be about money too?

If you want to earn money and buy a Lamborghini, you can want that. You get to decide what you want to buy. The important question is whether you like your reason.

Wanting something can be a good enough reason. You do not need to provide an explanation that makes everyone comfortable.

People may have opinions about how you spend, lend, or give your money. They are allowed to have those opinions. You are allowed to make your own decisions.

Dan Sullivan's teaching about wanting what you want and being who you are helped me tremendously with this. It freed me from trying to explain my life to everyone.

Play the long game

Never trade your integrity and authenticity for instant success.

As your business grows, you may feel tempted to take a quick win because you are afraid the opportunity will disappear. But if it requires giving up what is true for you, you can say no.

I once decided to return the money from a program because the arrangement was no longer one I wanted to continue. I had put myself in that position, and I took responsibility for it.

It was a significant decision. It also let me move into the next stage of my work instead of holding on for the short-term money.

Sometimes an opportunity offers more income and more contribution, and I still do not want to take it. I do not want another workday. I want time off. I want to grow differently.

I can make that decision without assuming this is my last chance. I have a long game to play.

Success does not remove the negative half

I used to imagine losing weight would mean never feeling another negative emotion. Instead, when I stopped buffering with food, I felt unpleasant emotions more deeply.

The same was true when I stopped drinking and when I created financial success.

I did not become happy all the time. I became happy about different things. I still experienced the contrast I teach as 50 percent positive and 50 percent negative.

Money can solve many problems. It can solve some of them very quickly. But it does not solve your thinking.

Your mind can find a different subject for the same pattern. If money is no longer the problem, it may use something else.

When I say I have become a different person, I do not mean I am permanently happy. I mean I understand my mind more clearly, I am more willing to feel, and I am better at creating what I want.

The ability matters more than the cash

I never wanted money to be the powerful thing while I felt dependent on it. I wanted to understand my own ability to create it.

Making money showed me what belief and action could do together. The ability became something I could carry with me and teach.

I do not see that wisdom as a limited resource. Sharing it does not leave less for me. More people practicing abundance can create more abundance.

Money also gives me freedom with my time. I can choose the work I want to do. I can solve problems and be more generous with my family, employees, clients, and students.

That generosity includes the value I offer, not just money I give. I love being able to make more of my work available.

Listen to advice, then make your decision

People have plenty of ideas about what you should do once you are successful.

They have ideas about your business, your money, your relationships, and your next goal.

I like hearing advice. I also do my own research and make my own decisions. My business partner and I listen, discuss, choose, and live with what we decide.

Advice does not remove your responsibility to decide what you want.

Keep growing—and enjoy the anticipation

People ask why I would pursue more success when things are already going well. Why not simply stay where I am?

For me, success is the best outcome. Trying and failing is the next best. Not trying is the worst, because it does not give me the opportunity to succeed or grow.

The anticipation can be delicious. Think of looking forward to Christmas or imagining a dream coming true. You can enjoy the possibility before you reach the result.

My goal of creating a $100 million business gave me delight before I achieved it. It helped me think about who I was becoming and how I wanted to build.

But I do not want a goal at the expense of enjoying my life. When I offered my team a challenge with a reward, I told them the process needed to be fun too.

You cannot stress your way to freedom or hate your way to love. When I stop enjoying the work, I have thought work to do.

There will be self-doubt, discomfort, and questions about how. Those are part of the journey. Do not miss the journey while waiting for the view at the top.