How to Set Goals

Choose a future you want—and grow as you work toward it.

By Brooke Hicks

When was the last time you let yourself want something?

I don’t mean something you’re supposed to want. Or something you already know how to get.

I mean a goal that excites you—and brings up a little fear when you imagine going after it.

It’s easy to spend your life responding to what needs your attention. Putting out fires. Getting through the day.

A goal gives you a chance to decide where you want to go.

You can want more and be enough now

I don’t teach goal setting as a way to finally become worthy.

You don’t have to achieve something before you’re allowed to appreciate yourself or your life.

You can be enough right now and still want to grow.

That distinction matters. If you believe the goal will fix how you feel about yourself, you can bring a lot of desperation to the process. If you choose it as an opportunity to grow, the work becomes a chance to learn about yourself.

The goal will show you your thinking. It will bring up obstacles. It will invite you to become someone who can work through them.

Start with what you want

Here’s an exercise I love: Write down 25 things you want.

Alternate between something you already have and something you don’t have yet.

You might write that you want the home you already live in, then a new experience you haven’t had. Then something else you already have and want to keep.

Wanting what you have is different from only focusing on what’s missing. This exercise lets you experience desire alongside appreciation for your current life.

Once you have your list, choose one goal.

Make it specific. Write it in the first person and present tense, as though you’ve achieved it. Include a clear measure and a timeframe where they fit.

You don’t need to know every step yet. Give yourself permission to name the destination before you’ve solved the whole journey.

Expect your brain to have an opinion

As soon as you write down a goal, you may hear all the reasons it won’t work.

You don’t know how. You’ve tried before. You might fail.

The presence of doubt doesn’t automatically mean you’ve chosen the wrong goal.

Write those thoughts down. See what your mind is offering you instead of letting it make the decision without your attention.

Then imagine yourself having achieved the goal. From that perspective, how would you respond to the doubts you have today?

This isn’t about pretending the work is already done. It’s a way to consider answers you may miss when you’re only thinking from uncertainty.

“I don’t know how” can be the beginning of learning. It doesn’t have to be the end of the goal.

Plan backward, then choose your actions

Start at the result you want and work backward.

What would need to happen before you reached it? What would you need to learn? What would you need to practice?

Break that work into smaller periods: the year, the month, the week. Bring it all the way down to actions you can take.

I also like to think about a “do goal”—a commitment to what you will do as you pursue the result.

You can’t control every response or outcome. You can decide what effort you’re willing to make, what skills you’ll practice, and how you’ll keep showing up.

Make that commitment specific enough that you can tell whether you did it. Then use what you learn to adjust your next steps.

Notice what you gain along the way

The final result isn’t the only thing available to you.

You may develop a skill. Meet people. Learn that you can handle disappointment. Discover a belief that has been limiting you for years.

Those gains matter, even if the outcome takes longer than you expected or looks different from what you imagined.

Write your goal down. Read it regularly. Notice your thinking. Take the next action.

You can appreciate your life today and still give yourself something wonderful to work toward.