Discomfort on Purpose

Discomfort is the currency for your dreams

You're going to be uncomfortable either way. You might as well use the discomfort to create something you want.

That is the choice I want you to consider. We often imagine that growth is uncomfortable and staying where we are is safe and comfortable. But staying still has its own discomfort.

There's the discomfort of trying, failing, learning, and becoming. Then there's the discomfort of knowing you want something more and not allowing yourself to pursue it.

Discomfort is the currency for your dreams. You can spend it moving forward instead of spending it hiding.

Growth brings a thought flurry

When you ask your brain to do something new, it has opinions.

You decide you want to make $100,000, and your mind gives you a flurry of thoughts about why it's a terrible idea. You run an ad, no one clicks, and another flurry arrives. You get a consultation and don't convert it. More thoughts.

Those thoughts create uncomfortable feelings. Your brain is trying to protect you from the unfamiliar, and it can react quickly.

But the discomfort isn't proof that you should go back. Learning to move through that reaction is part of evolving.

Thoughts create feelings, which drive actions and results. If every uncomfortable feeling becomes a reason to stop, you keep giving the same old thoughts authority over the future you're trying to create.

Hiding doesn't prevent rejection

When you put yourself out there, rejection is possible. I'm not promising that everyone will love you.

If you become a coach with a clear niche and something to say, some people may not like it. The work is learning how to experience that without hiding.

We sometimes think avoiding other people's rejection means we've stayed safe. But if you refuse yourself the opportunity ahead of time, you're rejecting yourself.

You haven't escaped discomfort. You've chosen a different version of it.

Fear can help protect us when there's an immediate physical threat. But the brain can bring that protective response to a situation like sharing our work online. We need to learn how to feel the fear and still do what we've decided to do.

Buffering can hide the urge to grow

The discomfort of stagnation often comes with a nudge. You know you want to do more, become more, or explore what you're capable of.

Instead of listening, you may buffer with food, alcohol, social media, or some other immediate pleasure. You quiet the discomfort without changing the pattern underneath it.

When you stop buffering, you're left with the experience of your life. If you feel dissatisfied, the answer isn't necessarily to resume buffering. You can explore what you want and what you aren't allowing yourself to pursue.

I love pleasure. I don't want it to come at the expense of growth.

The discomfort of not changing repeats itself. The discomfort of changing takes you somewhere new.

Get better at being uncomfortable

How do you learn to be uncomfortable? By being uncomfortable.

You don't have to eliminate fear first. You can experience it while doing the thing you want to do.

Imagine I offer you the chance to speak to 5,000 people. Your mind may immediately say no. It may offer thoughts about making a mistake, looking foolish, or being rejected.

But if you were willing to feel embarrassment and fear, you could say yes. Then 5,000 people would have the opportunity to hear your message.

The willingness to feel changes what becomes available to you. Instead of looking for a detour around discomfort, you can recognize it as part of the path.

Let yourself learn through the difficult part

I experienced this while learning to manage my team. I wanted someone to arrive and run the business better than I could. I tried different arrangements, and some didn't work.

It was uncomfortable. I had to be willing to get it wrong and do things I didn't want to do in order to create what I wanted.

Through that process, I learned more about how I work and what kind of support the business needed. I found a rhythm with my team that I couldn't have reached by refusing the uncomfortable part.

I'm proud of that work. Not because it became effortless, but because I was willing to stay in it and learn.

Watching someone else do something can make it look easy. I compare it to watching a soccer game and thinking you could score that goal. Once you're in the game, you discover how fast everything is moving. You learn by participating.

Choose which discomfort you want

I teach that life is 50–50. Negative emotion isn't a mistake in the design. Trying to make life feel good all the time can lead us to false pleasures that keep us stuck.

Growth doesn't remove all discomfort. It gives you a reason to experience it. You can feel anxious and afraid while knowing you're going somewhere you want to go.

For me, that creates an underlying satisfaction. Life stays interesting. I get to discover something new about myself instead of repeating the same cycle.

You may not reach a goal in the exact time you planned. You can still be proud that you gave it what you had. The alternative is never trying.

Look at the discomfort you're avoiding. What would become possible if you were willing to experience it?

You don't need to change a circumstance so it can finally make you happy. You can manage your thinking, decide what you want, and pursue it because you want to.

You're going to feel discomfort. Are you willing to let it be the discomfort of growth?