Decision Debt

Stop spending your energy on the same maybe, and decide what you want to move toward.

Maybe I will change jobs. Maybe I will go back to school. Maybe I will move. I am not sure yet.

You can carry those sentences for months without moving anywhere. Each one asks for a little more attention every time it returns.

I call that decision debt.

The decision remains open, and your mind keeps paying for it. You spend energy considering, reconsidering, and worrying without getting the forward movement a decision could create.

What decision debt costs

I developed this concept while thinking about decision making and financial debt.

Debt is something owed. Financial debt is neutral, but our thoughts about it can create obligation or scarcity. An unpaid decision can feel like another unfinished item hanging over us.

When you say yes to something, you move toward that choice. When you say no, you move toward the alternative.

If you decide to marry, you can begin creating the marriage. If you decide not to marry, you can live into the life you choose instead.

But maybe leaves you in a holding pattern.

Your brain keeps focusing in and out on the same issue. That is energy you could use for the actions that follow a decision.

Choose your life instead of only inheriting yesterday's choices

Many people live from decisions they made long ago without consciously choosing them again.

They remain in a house, job, or relationship because that is where they already are.

I encourage you to redecide on purpose. Look at your home and choose it. Look at your relationship and decide whether you want to keep creating it.

You do not have to treat a past decision as something you are now merely at the effect of.

You can want what is. You can also decide to change. Both are different from leaving the question perpetually open.

Why we avoid deciding

We often believe there is a right decision and a wrong decision, and we must find the right one before moving.

What if we choose the wrong person, the wrong job, or the wrong training?

We also know that a decision may require uncomfortable action. So confusion becomes a place to stay.

I see this when new coaches are choosing a niche. As long as they are debating the niche, logo, and business name, they do not have to make offers or ask people to work with them.

It can feel as though they are doing business work. But if the same choices stay open indefinitely, they are procrastinating.

The holding pattern is uncomfortable too. It simply does not create the result they want.

You can learn what you want by deciding

People tell me they cannot decide because they do not know what they want.

Sometimes making the decision is how you find out.

If you are considering moving in with someone, you could decide to do it. You could also decide to live on your own for a year.

Notice the difference between choosing that year and vaguely saying you are not moving in right now.

The clear decision lets you stop reconsidering each day and begin experiencing the choice. The vague version leaves the issue open.

You can make a decision with a time frame and honor it rather than carrying endless maybe.

Stop requiring the choice to make you happy

A student once asked about signing up for coach training. I told her either choice was neutral until she decided what to think about it.

If she joined, she would still be responsible for creating her life. If she did not join, the same was true.

I ask people to consider that either way they can have an amazing life. Either way, they can be happy. Then which choice do they want?

That removes the pressure of needing one option to guarantee happiness.

I can know I could be happy outside a relationship and still choose to be in it. Then I am choosing the person because I want to, not because I think that is my only chance to feel good.

The decision does not deliver your life to you. You still do that through your thinking, feelings, and actions.

Make the decision, then support it

After choosing, you can also decide to make it a good decision.

Instead of waiting for the world to announce whether you won or lost, look for how you will live into what you chose.

We already use confirmation bias to find evidence for what we believe. You can deliberately practice believing your choice is one you will make work.

That is different from repeatedly deciding, changing your mind, and starting over out of fear.

You can create decision debt through that back-and-forth too. You appear to be making many decisions, but you never get beyond the beginning.

A niche is chosen, then changed. A plan is started, then replaced. You keep avoiding the risk of fully committing.

Write down the decisions you are carrying

List every open decision. Include things you want to choose again as well as things you are considering changing.

Notice how much attention each one takes. What does keeping it open cost you?

Then choose a date by which you will decide.

If you want thinking time, schedule it. An hour of deliberate superthinking is different from saying you need to think about something and letting it trail on for weeks.

Ask what decision you are making and why. Make sure you like the reason.

Write it down. Commit to it. Direct your attention toward the actions that create the life you have chosen.

Move out of the middle

You are going to experience discomfort whether you stay undecided or take the risk of choosing.

One discomfort keeps you where you are. The other gives you the opportunity to create something.

Your thoughts about the choice create your feelings. Those feelings drive your actions and results. You can manage that process instead of requiring the decision itself to remove every uncomfortable emotion.

Decide to want what is, or decide to change. Do not keep your life on hold in the middle.

Making decisions ahead of time lets you live more consciously. You can use your energy to create what comes next instead of continuing to pay for the same unmade choice.